I Can't Really Complain . . . But I Still Do
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Location: Colorado

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Super Fantastic Caption Contest (#37)

Well, well, well . . .

Another week, another Weekly Caption Contest.

This week's exercise promises to be a fun one.

I think the picture is actually pretty darn good. I wanted to find something that wasn't obviously funny at first glance, but that would afford ample oppurtunity to expand and improvise. I trust that the wittiest blog-readers in the known universe (how's that for sucking up?) can certainly get those funny juices flowing.

I look forward to reading all those comments . . .

Ben O.


Friday, April 20, 2007

Feedback Friday (#59)

Okay, here's one for ya . . .
Would it kill Baby to be put in the freakin' corner?
What if he was right, what if we CAN"T handle the truth?
And, while I'm at it . . .
Have you ever actually taken a whiff of napalm in the morning? It ain't good.
Now, before you dial the last digit of the Funny Farm and have a courtesy car swing by my place, there is a point here somewhere.
I want to know about your favorite movie-quote of all time.
That's it . . . that's the homework assignment this week.
It's not as simple as it sounds, though.
I also want to know why it's your favorite.
Should be fun . . .
Ben O.
BTW - if you come lookin' to me for sympathy when you can't come up with a cool reason for liking the quote you like . . .
Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

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Friday, April 13, 2007

Feedback Friday (#58)

Okay people . . .

This Friday, we're gonna run-down our lil' list of 10 favorite beers.

I was planning on posting this last week, but then I realized that alcoholic endeavours and Good Friday just don't mix well.

So, I'm posting it today.

Before we begin, let me preface by saying that factors other than flavor were taken into account in creating this list. Our crack team of dedicated tasters also looked at each beer's availability, history, packaging and of course, coolness.

So, here they are . . .

The Top 10 Beers according to the Staff of Procrastination Station -

1. Guinness - This is the fashizzle and even though it has slipped a little in utter-coolness (since it's freakin' everywhere) a pint of Guinness is, for my money, still the most enjoyable beer experience out there.

2. New Belgium 1554 - New Belgium, in Ft. Collins, Colorado is best known for their Fat Tire (which is pretty good). What most people don't know is that it isn't even the brewery's 2nd best beer. 1554 is easily the best product they ship with the overwhelmingly expensive La Folie following right behind.

3. Rolling Rock - Okay, I know this beer isn't going to win any awards. I just like it. I think having a picture of a horse on your bottle and some mysterious saying about the glass-lined tanks of Old Latrobe makes it even cooler to drink. And isn't it all about being cool?

4. Hale's Cream Ale - I think that Hale's is one of Seattle's best undiscovered beer treasures. There's just something about that creaminess and drink-ability.

5. Fuller's London Pride - This is a great beer and it has the awards to prove it. I love how old the breweries are over in the UK. I'm pretty sure this one has been around for about 3,000 years.

6. Mackeson Stout - I must admit a taste for darker beers and this doesn't disappoint. I can't even remember why I began drinking Mackeson, but it somehow seems to get better and better each time I partake.

7. Caledonian Deuchars IPA - I discovered this gem in Edinburgh and I haven't been the same since. If only they would open a franchise-location in Denver, all would be right with the world.

8. Shiner Bock - Brewed in Texas with attitude. I think I still have some wooden "free sample" tokens from the tour.

9. Redhook ESB - This beer should be so much bigger than it is right now. There's a reason everyone single person in the Pacific Northwest drinks this beer. It's good. The brewery has style too. Nice outfit.

10. Stella Artois - Okay, I know this has become the most ultra-sheik beer around. You can't go anywhere without somebody handing you a bottle of it like they personally discovered some new "unknown" treasure. With any other flashy, Euro-Beer it would be so easy to just smile, drink some, dismiss it and move on. The problem with Stella is that it actually tastes really good. I give it very high marks. I guess Belgium is the promised land of beer after all.

Now, I would never even consider that my list is going to be the same as your list.

That's where the feedback portion of this lil' exercise comes in to play . . .

Your homework assignment is to leave your own top 10 (or fewer . . . or more) in our comments section.

I'm already looking forward to reading all about it

Ben O.

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Thursday, April 12, 2007

Kurt Vonnegut, Dead at 85

Okay, here's one for ya . . .

Kurt Vonnegut died earlier today.

I think his official website sums up what I believe his "take" on things to be -


As an avid reader and even more loyal enjoyer of his books, this is the kind of news that, though completely expected at some future point in space and time, still comes as a surprise.

I honestly don't know a whole heckuva lot about his life and interests and stuff, and to be perfectly honest, I doubt that the two of us would even have been able to hang out and converse together for any extended period of time.

What I do know about Kurt is that he had an uncanny ability to create and tell the most insanely interesting stories.

I haven't read him in over a year, but after hearing of Mr. Vonnegut's passing, I will undoubtedly shift the pile a little and give the next book of his in it an unfair advantage at making the top . . . that's for sure.

For my money, his forte' was how he was able to mix genres and always seemed to know just when to toss the unexpected supernatural or unexplainable element into the pot to keep it from boiling over with predictability.

He is best known, of course for the book "Slaughterhouse Five", but I would actually recommend checking out some of his other stuff as well. "The Sirens of Titan" is a really interesting story with a fun ending. "Bluebeard" is easy to read and rewards in typical Vonnegut fashion. I think my favorite of his, however, is "Mother Night". Read it and see if you don't agree that when it's all said and done, you'll only get as confused as he wants you to be.


So, in closing I would just like to thank Kurt for the stories and wish him well in all his future endeavors. (That seems about right, doesn't it?)

Ben O.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Super Fantastic Caption Contest (#36)

Okay people,

I'm gonna try my darndest to get the weekly features posted on their correct days this week.

Tuesday is Super Fantastic Caption Contest day, or at least it was originally supposed to be that way.

So, here goes . . .

This one is pretty strange.

Possibly even disturbing.

I can't wait to read all about it.

Ben O.

(My apologies to anyone related to or married to either of these two doofuses, anyone professionally associated with the Tron and/or Harry Potter franchises, anyone even remotely fond of Halloween and anyone in general.)


Thursday, April 05, 2007

The Geezer Gap

Okay, here's one for ya . . .

Am I the only one having a hard time dealing with the fact that my parents are way cooler and more technologically equipped than I?

(Did I delete that email thinking that it was just another unwanted bit of spam?)

They just completed a 95 year study over in Sweden and I'm not alone in this by a longshot. Apparently, 72% of people my age (wouldn't you like to know . . .) responded in the affirmative when consistently and repetitively questioned "Do you feel as if your parents have sexier technological gadgets than you?" (Of course the staff at Ikea readily admit that the numbers might be a little skewed because they weren't able to chase down and catch everyone in the research/study group.)

The idea here is not to point fingers and lay blame. Oh No. The real aim of this inquiry is to get to the bottom of what we will from here on out call the "Geezer Gap".

Now, let's start out by establishing a baseline. I don't live in a cave. I had an Atari and I knew how to use it. I spent my childhood playing the most uber-cutting edge games available for Commodore 64 AND Super NES. Truth be known, in my heyday, you could have even called me a geek. That's right . . . a geek.

But not now.


I'm no longer a dweeb or a nerd or a techie. Now I'm just a doofus.

I think everything began tumbling downhill a few years ago when my beloved Mom showed me her brand-spankin' new cell phone and I realized in horror that it had more memory than my desktop computer.

That ain't right.

Can I get a Witness?

I can still remember the days when my parents would call me to see if I had gotten their email.

Now I love my parents dearly, but we are way too cool to let this go on one mili-second longer. We have got to break out of our collective funk, tuck in our shirts, band together and put an end to the ever-expanding "Geezer Gap" before someone gets hurt.

And while I'm at it . . . would it kill ya to play some freakin' music, MTV? (if I'm not mistaken, the "M" did at least used to stand for "Music", yes?)

Ben O.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Sub-Basement Post-It Notes

Evil Twin Biff


Monday, April 02, 2007

Super Fantastic Caption Contest (#35)

Okay people, I have another picture for you to comment upon.

It goes without saying, that the funnier the caption, the higher the cash payout.

(Wink, Wink)

So, here goes . . .

I can't wait to read those captions -

Ben O.
(BTW - This is NOT my kid and I have no idea whose poor child it actually is. I normally shy away from exploiting the overflowing reservoir of alltogether creepy "let's-pose-our-infant-with-something-adult-and-take-a-bunch-of-pictures" type shots, but the look on this lil' baby's face just won me over.)