I Can't Really Complain . . . But I Still Do
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Location: Colorado

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Super Fantastic Caption Contest (#33)

Hello Internet Junkies!

I hope and trust that each and every loyal PS reader out there has something to be happy about today.

If not, whatever it is, it could be a whole lot worse . . . you could have just divorced your wanna-be hip-hop loser husband, run away from rehab (twice), flashed your hooha to the universe, shaved your head and gotten embarassingly beaten out for the best adapted screenplay oscar on internationally broadcast basic cable yet again.

That would really be crappy, now wouldn't it?

(Evil Twin Biff knows exactly how that feels, don't ya Bro!?!)

The good news is that Procrastination Station is a world-renowned beacon of progressive, forward thinking enlightenment and we have just the thing to take your feable mind off of your pathetic, miserable lil' life . . .

The Super Fantastic Caption Contest!

This week's pic is a gem for sure.

I am so looking forward to reading your comments (captions) on this baby.

Ben O.

Quick lil' Shout Out

I was surfing some of my friend's blogs and I just had to mention something really funny over at Mark's blog - What a Savage.

Check it out, but try it at your own peril.

Ben O.

Monday, February 26, 2007

And The Oscar Goes To . . .

As everyone already knows, the Oscars were handed out last night and my lil' independent film "Step on the Gas, Guido!" got snubbed yet again.


The good news is that we have a full 3 days until they announce the nominees for the Golden Globes, so I thought we might try and squeeze in a little awards show of our own before George and Leo stop hitting after parties and start patting themselves on the back again.

So, here goes . . .

The Official Procrastination Station "All-Time" Academy Awards

(We got 8 categories in our program here, people.)

1. The Best Actress in a role ever.

2. The Best Actor in a role ever.

3. The Best Cinematography in a movie ever.

4. The Best Costumes in a movie ever.

5. The Best Screenplay for a movie ever.

6. The Best Song from a movie ever.

7. The Best Director of a movie ever.


8. The Best Picture ever.

So, in case you didn't pick up on the theme, we want to know what your vote is for the best of all time in each category. The best part is that you don't even have to go with past winners. If you are convinced that the pinnacle of the art of acting is Abe Vigoda's performance in "Look Who's Talking", then who are we to keep you from casting your vote.

This should be alot of fun.

May I have the envelope please . . .

Ben O.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Feedback Friday (#56)

Okay people, it's that time again . . .

You'll all be happy to know that myself, Evil Twin Biff and Raj the intern spent some quality time together last night at 3:45 AM down in the sub-basement cafeteria brainstorming about possible questions for Feedback Friday. After the vodka and slurpee buzz started wearing off, we actually came up with some pretty good ideas.

Here are the top 3 according to USA Today -

1. If you were an astronomer and had a gigantic telescope and discovered a new planet, what would you name it?
2. If you were a spandex and cape-wearing superhero, what would your super-power be?
3. What is your favorite James Bond movie (to watch in the nude)?

Since, we're all about equal opportunity here at The Station, we've decided to allow you to answer one, two or all three of the afore-mentioned questions. If you can't decide (and it certainly is a tough decision at that), flip a coin.

May I suggest that head's represent #1, tails can be for #2 and if it the coin lands on it's side and balances perfectly then you can go ahead and answer all three.

It could happen . . .

Ben O.


Thursday, February 15, 2007

Is That a Valentine in Your Pocket, or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

The 10 least effective things to say after forgetting to get your loved one a gift for Valentines Day -

1. I was unavoidably detained at a cozy lil' facility downtown and darn-it-all if they didn't offer me but just 1 phone call, baby.

2. I was going to wait to tell you this until our 3 month anniversary, but I'm a superhero and there was this mad scientist trying to take over the world and he just happened to pick Valentines day as the time to unleash his diabolical plan.

3. The line at Starbucks was really, really long.

4. I got confused and bought a keg of green beer, a stuffed four-leaf clover and a bunch of those lil' plastic hats. It's the thought that counts, right?

5. I wanted to get you some really nice, elegant lingerie, but that place that I like to go to out past the railroad tracks was all out of their neon Lil' Bo Peep outfits.

6. I wanted to dress up in a really nice, elegant outfit and surprise you, but that place that I like to go to out past the railroad tracks was all out of their neon Lil' Bo Peep outfits.

7. I had to fly to the Bahamas and take a paternity test to determine if I was the father of Anna Nicole Smith's child.

8. The 13 voices in my head convened a meeting and collectively decided that it would be a better financial decision for everyone involved to boycott Valentines Day this year.

9. My pimp called late last night and said I had to hit the street.

10. Ozzy Ozbourne's new CD doesn't come out until next week.

Ben O.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Super Fantastic Caption Contest (#32)

Okay people,

It's cold and snowy and cold and crappy and I'm not feeling too much like the eloquent poetic genius who penned the soon-to-be-holiday-classic located a few posts below.

I basically just want to sit on a beach and drink fruity, electric-blue drinks all day while waiting for the Sun to set.

Sound good?

I thought so.

Well, the reality is that we have to get the product out to the waiting masses.

So, here ya go . . . waiting masses.

I like today's picture. I think it has that something special that all of the really good caption contest photos have.

I'm looking forward to reading your comments on this one . . .

Ben O.


Friday, February 09, 2007

Okay people, here's one for ya . . .

Feedback Friday, our flagship feature, has taken some hits and is sometimes not even on a Friday. But, I'm happy to announce that the beloved mainstay of that special last day of the work week is not going anywhere.

The crowd erupts in applause.

So, without any further prolonging of the inevitable, let's get right down to it.

This week, the Management wanted something really interesting, but all I could come up with was this -

What is your favorite time of the day?

That's it . . . that's the assignment this week.

Tell us all about your favorite time of the day. Perhaps you are a night owl and simply will not go to bed without having first exhausted all of the readily available infomercials on cable channel 274. You might prefer the early morning and are incapable of functioning without your 7th venti double from Starbucks each and every day. Hey, maybe you sleep until noon and then hit the ground running.

So, tell us all about it.

Ben O.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Ode to Snow

So white and fluffy, the flakes start a fallin',
Lush and luxurious, a coating for all in . . .
The fields near the forest of trees big and tall,
Staying frozen forever like the eyes of a doll.

Nevermore does the glow of daylight warmth shine,
Icicles and tickles in the throat have arrived,
Billowy smooth blankets of whiteness sublime,
From the first to the last to the end of the line.

Oh, that we could all just continue to be,
Held hollow and fast, wrapped up tight in eternity,
And the only three things that we'll need to stay free,
Are a big stack of snowballs and a you and a me.

Whispering again, the wind is so eager to show,
What the trees and the fog and the snowboarders know,
That the virtue of patience and a lifetime of slow,
Can't beat a single day of fun playing out in the snow.

Ben O.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Super Fantastic Caption Contest (#31)

Where does the week go?

Unbelievably, it's already time for the first ever Super Fantastic Caption Contest in February '07.

Can you feel the electricity in the air?

Do you have your medical records up to date?

Is the pantry fully stocked?

Have the camels been shaved?

Are the hatches securely battened down?

Good, let's get on with it . . .

The picture this time around is a good one. Nothing too fancy, but I think there should be ample room for commentical improvisation.

I can't wait to read all those captions.

Ben O.