I Can't Really Complain . . . But I Still Do
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Location: Colorado

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

No Purchase Necessary

$100 for the first person who can correctly tell me why last Thursday was so freakin' special.

The Management

(Legal Disclaimer - Contest open to any and all living citizens of Planet Earth. You must be at least 79 years of age and have visited all 7 continents (including Antarctica) to collect prize money. No persons named Rappaport, Slinkheimer and/or Kkhrstykn allowed (This goes back to that "Freshman Water Balloon incident".) Upon verification of correct answer, the winner will be paraded across America and Iceland on a whirlwind ribbon cutting tour, taught to ride a burro and bare-hand spanked in the traditional Dakotian manner befitting all worthy prize winners. The money will be paid in lump sum installments to be distributed each and every leap year. Said money is not real money, of course, but pretend money similar in size, appearance and general heft to the multicolored faux money that is included in the standard issue Monopoly board game.)

Good Luck!

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Tuesday, August 21, 2007

The Rewind Button Shall Set You Free

Okay, here's one for ya . . .

Wasn't it the oft-forgotten French philosopher and racquetball player, Antoine chandelier, who once infamously said "Let our children not be such a pain in our bottoms, for the knowest not what they do"?

I know that today's technology and scientific advances place us squarely in one of the most exciting times to be alive yet (excluding of course that whole nasty medieval era they toyed around with over in Europe a few years back). The truth is that you can't fling a dead lobster these days (oh, how I love to fling those dead lobsters) without having it hit some unsuspecting techno-geek in the nose.

Mind you, those techno-geeks everywhere. And why shouldn't they be?

The sad part to my lil' story is what they neglected to mention when I traded in my sanity for the newly upgraded version 2.01. Namely, that some of the old, outdated stuff is actually pretty cool. Now, I'm not saying that 8 Track players are superior to iPods. Any casual music listener can successfully choose the better of those two inventions. It's just a little sad that my son will never know what a record is, or what roller skates look like, or even what Jimmy Buffet was talking about when he "blew out his flip flop" by "stepping on a pop-top." For that matter, does any kid born within the past 5 years even know what a "rewind" button is?

The blank stares coming in are answer enough.

For cryin' out loud, I can see it now. We're all gonna have to pack up the SUV and head into town so I can take the family to the Natural History Museum and show them all the "Ancient History" exhibit. I hear they have a great collection of '80s Hair Metal cassette tapes.

Those were the days . . . even if $4 coffee wasn't yet a twinkle in Steve Jobs' eye.

Ben O.

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Monday, August 20, 2007

Feedback Monday (#66)

So, I'm up bright and early and wondering what we can ask the masses this week and it occurs to me that we have not been too terribly supportive of the literary world lately.

That's gotta change, my friends.

A blog that doesn't promote the finer aspects of life is a little like a hot air balloon without a complete collection of potato chips that look like Bob Hope.

I'm not sure what that means . . .

Anyway, this week's question is our humble attempt at pulling ourselves out of the dark ages and once again lifting up the arts.

So, let's get right to it -
Who is your favorite character in literature?

That's it . . . that's the assignment.

Tell us all which fictional character you are fondest of and why.

It's not like there aren't a freakin' bazillion dudes to choose from.
Maybe it's the way Professor Moriarty was written so slyly into the shadows or how Jason Bourne never quite comes to terms with the pieces of his life as he discovers them, or it might even be the result of that enormous man-crush you've had on Mr. Darcy since you discovered the joy of reading back in junior high.

Let's hear all about it -

Should be fun.

Ben O.


Thursday, August 16, 2007

Super Fantastic Caption Contest (#46)

Okay, get those brains out of the closet and fire 'em up because it's Caption Contest time again!

This week we've got something extra special for you.

Long time readers of the blog will no doubt recognize the star of today's photo from his previous appearance in our lil' weekly contest. That makes him (name unknown, but I'm guessing it's something like Dweevus or Mr. Dumples) the current king of wackiness.

Be proud, Tron Boy, be proud.

So, with that, let's get right to it -

I told you it was going to be special . . .

Ben O.

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Thursday, August 09, 2007

Super Fantastic Caption Contest (#45)

Okay people, this week's picture is a good one for sure.

I'm looking forward to reading all of your comments and captions.

Ben O.

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Monday, August 06, 2007

Feedback Monday (#65)

Okay, here's one for ya . . .
The end of the world did not occur this past weekend and subsequently I now find myself sitting at the same flickering screen I always find myself sitting at after having just awaken from yet another end-of-the-word-less weekend.

So, what does that mean for you?

It means we need to get some feedback up in there.

And pronto.

This one's good, though. No need to hang your head and get all discouraged. The idea here is to have some fun connecting with each other and learning from what others have to say.

So, without any further belaborement (is that a word?) . . .

What would you be doing (professionally) if you could do anything you wanted?

That's it, that's the assignment.

Now, be careful with this one. Nobody won the Paris Hilton lotto here. You still have to work at an actual job and there are no trips around the world involved here, unless you want to be a cruise ship skipper.

This is simply the typical what is your "dream job" question that I'm sure I'm already being investigated for stealing from at least 13 blogs.

It should be fun and I know that I can't wait to hear what everyone has to contribute to the discussion.

Ben O.

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