I Can't Really Complain . . . But I Still Do
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Location: Colorado

Monday, October 29, 2007

Feedback Monday (#69)

Okay people, here's one for ya . . .

All Hallow's Eve is creeping ever closer and I haven't even trimmed the words "Trick or Treat" into the hedge yet.

Oh, the shame of it.

The good news (yep, there's good news) is that I did get the check written for this year's dues to The Creepiest Guy Around Society, so that shipment of dry ice and recycled fake spider webs should be arriving any minute now.

And, yes . . . that is a lightsabre and not merely the proof that I'm glad to see you, residing in my pocket. (Guess what I'm going as this year. Go ahead - guess.)

So, since it's way too scary around here for anything else - this week's Feedback Question simply must coincide.

Here goes -

What scares you the most?

That's it. That's the assignment.

Tell us all about that secret fear. The thing you never tell anyone about because it's just too frightening and you're worried about sending yourself into a shaking fit from which you might never return.

Woooooooo Haa Haa Haa Haa Haa

(Can you feel the artificially enhanced spookiness already?)

Should be fun . . .

Ben O.

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Wednesday, October 24, 2007

The Proverbial End of the World

Okay, here's one for ya . . .

All State Insurance isn't available in "all states".

I was as surprised as you undoubtedly are.

So, the end of the world is coming (or so my horoscope calendar tells me (I have got to get a more upbeat calendar)) and I still haven't climbed Mt. Everest or composed my opus masterpiece concerto or even seen Delaware. Apparently, I came to a fork in the road and instead of heeding Frost's advice and venturing on down the road less traveled, I pulled over into the ditch, busted out the hibachi of indecision and proceeded to brown myself some wieners. Can you think of a better place to throw a tailgate party?

I should think not.

Now, unless you are wearing the wrong prescription glasses again, are too cheap to replace the light bulbs in your bedroom or have been conducting experiments on blind, albino cave rodents for the past three months, you have probably seen the writing on the wall. Directly to the left of where it says "pimp yo fashizzle", are the words "The Future is Now".

Couldn't be clearer if it was shipped from Waterford, my friend.

Now I'm no expert and I certainly don't have a degree in Personal Motivation (Although I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express once . . . I think), but isn't it time we took back what is rightfully ours? Shouldn't we stand up to the tyranny of complacency and demand a better today? Can't we expect thicker, gooier cheese on our Sbarros pizza?

I humbly submit that IT IS, we SHOULD and yep . . . we most certainly CAN (Except in parts of Rhode Island and New Jersey due to some archaic and poorly written zoning laws.)

(Insert Rocky Training Montage Music Here)

Wow, I need to sit down.

That's all I have to say on that . . .

Ben O.

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Friday, October 19, 2007

I Don't Think That's Legal, Dude

Okay people, here's one for ya . . .

It's Friday and you know what that means?

No, and shame on you for thinking that.

Actually, we like to do a little thing we call Feedback Friday on . . . Friday (or Saturday or Sunday or Monday or - you get the picture.)

But, for some reason I'm feeling a little adventurous this week.

So, we're gonna combine the Super Fantastic Caption Contest with Feedback Friday and have something called -

The Super Feedback-tastic Friday Caption Contest.

Hopefully the moon will remain in orbit and the neighbors won't need to alert the authorities . . . again.

So, here is the picture and please be sure and leave a wonderful caption along with any additional thoughts and/or ponderings that might be pertinent.

Should be fun . . .

Ben O.

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Does Anyone Have a Broom I Can Borrow?

Two Words -


Okay, maybe it should really be three words -


Ben O.

Go Rockies!!!

Monday, October 15, 2007

Feedback Monday (#68)

Okay People, here's one for ya . . .

I'm driving in to work this morning here at the beautiful and spacious Procrastination Station compound and it hits me that the Colorado Rockies are one lil' teensy weensy win away from going to The WORLD SERIES.


How do you believe it!?!

The thing is that not every fan likes the same sport.

Baseball might not do it for you.

Hey, that's cool.

So, I'm wondering what our readers' favorite sports are . . .

That's the assignment.

I'm not naive. I know there are a few people on Earth who don't live in the USA, so let's hear all about those fun, interesting sports you have where you live, that we don't even know how to pronounce.

This should be educational -

Ben O.

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Wednesday, October 10, 2007

What the Heck is Going on Here!?!

Okay, here's one for ya . . .

So, we finally got back from our big Birthday Bash-o-rama. Yep, the reason that day was so special was that it was our 2 year blog-birthday. The celebration, as was to be expected, spontaneously spilled over into the next month and before long, a few of the less-than-dependable employees here at The Station took to calling in sick so they could continue to enjoy $0.25 drinks and free buffalo wings down at O'Herlihy's Bar. I believe they were using the term "walkabout", in a pitiful attempt at couching their exploits in something a tad bit more glamorous ala Crocodile Dundee. The saddest part is that we've had to let Spivey go and as of this morning, nobody has heard anything from Evil Twin Biff or the intern.

The Vancouverville police have subsequently advised us that we really can't file an official missing persons report until the next of kin are able to prove that they have actually been missing for at least 23 consecutive days. I believe the rule was enacted in response to Biff's last run in with law enforcement. You may remember the whole "Storming the Mutual of Omaha Building and taking no prisoners" incident.


Consider yourself lucky.

So, on a lighter note the Management here at Procrastination Station would like to extend our most heartfelt and sincere apologies to those loyal readers out there who rely upon our outlet for their regular dose of wit, humor and/or entertainment. You three are the ones that really matter and it's simply wrong to have let you down lo these past few weeks.

With any luck, we'll see the intern come stumbling in through those big, gold plated doors any minute now and we can get this machine oiled up and back to running smoothly once again.

Thanks for the patience . . .

Ben O.

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