The Proverbial End of the World
Okay, here's one for ya . . .
All State Insurance isn't available in "all states".
I was as surprised as you undoubtedly are.
So, the end of the world is coming (or so my horoscope calendar tells me (I have got to get a more upbeat calendar)) and I still haven't climbed Mt. Everest or composed my opus masterpiece concerto or even seen Delaware. Apparently, I came to a fork in the road and instead of heeding Frost's advice and venturing on down the road less traveled, I pulled over into the ditch, busted out the hibachi of indecision and proceeded to brown myself some wieners. Can you think of a better place to throw a tailgate party?
I should think not.
Now, unless you are wearing the wrong prescription glasses again, are too cheap to replace the light bulbs in your bedroom or have been conducting experiments on blind, albino cave rodents for the past three months, you have probably seen the writing on the wall. Directly to the left of where it says "pimp yo fashizzle", are the words "The Future is Now".
Couldn't be clearer if it was shipped from Waterford, my friend.
Now I'm no expert and I certainly don't have a degree in Personal Motivation (Although I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express once . . . I think), but isn't it time we took back what is rightfully ours? Shouldn't we stand up to the tyranny of complacency and demand a better today? Can't we expect thicker, gooier cheese on our Sbarros pizza?
I humbly submit that IT IS, we SHOULD and yep . . . we most certainly CAN (Except in parts of Rhode Island and New Jersey due to some archaic and poorly written zoning laws.)
(Insert Rocky Training Montage Music Here)
Wow, I need to sit down.
That's all I have to say on that . . .
Ben O.
All State Insurance isn't available in "all states".
I was as surprised as you undoubtedly are.
So, the end of the world is coming (or so my horoscope calendar tells me (I have got to get a more upbeat calendar)) and I still haven't climbed Mt. Everest or composed my opus masterpiece concerto or even seen Delaware. Apparently, I came to a fork in the road and instead of heeding Frost's advice and venturing on down the road less traveled, I pulled over into the ditch, busted out the hibachi of indecision and proceeded to brown myself some wieners. Can you think of a better place to throw a tailgate party?
I should think not.
Now, unless you are wearing the wrong prescription glasses again, are too cheap to replace the light bulbs in your bedroom or have been conducting experiments on blind, albino cave rodents for the past three months, you have probably seen the writing on the wall. Directly to the left of where it says "pimp yo fashizzle", are the words "The Future is Now".
Couldn't be clearer if it was shipped from Waterford, my friend.
Now I'm no expert and I certainly don't have a degree in Personal Motivation (Although I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express once . . . I think), but isn't it time we took back what is rightfully ours? Shouldn't we stand up to the tyranny of complacency and demand a better today? Can't we expect thicker, gooier cheese on our Sbarros pizza?
I humbly submit that IT IS, we SHOULD and yep . . . we most certainly CAN (Except in parts of Rhode Island and New Jersey due to some archaic and poorly written zoning laws.)
(Insert Rocky Training Montage Music Here)
Wow, I need to sit down.
That's all I have to say on that . . .
Ben O.
Labels: Holiday Inn Express, Pizza, Rhode Island
posted by Ben O. | 9:36 AM
4 Comments:
Dammit (re: Rockies)....that's all I have to say.
I believe All State decided against insuring certain southern hurricane prone states after Katrina, because they didn't want to pay out. Or something like that. I have a tendency to process information quickly, get the results I need and forget what helped me to form that opinion. I just know "All State is evil."
Given the treatment the Rockies got last night, it would appear the end is near...
Well, maybe just the end of the World Series. Which, come to think of it - why is it called the World Series? Do we ever invite teams from outside the US? (And no, Canada does not count...) Why not call it the North American Series?
Rollin, Everyone knows that we are the center of the universe and the only ones that matter in the world.
DUH!
Kathleen, I just thought it was funny on the commercial that it actually says (in print) "not available in all states" I think I would have used the words "not available in all locations, or places, or zones or something besides the word states"
Ben O.
Hey up there - don't worry. Rollin was teasing. Canada really does count.
:)
I'm not entirely sure what you were talking about, but it made me laugh for some reason I could not pinpoint, due to my not knowing what you were talking about.
I should mention here, that Allstate is in Canada and we do not have States, we have provinces. They should really reconsider their name.
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