That's The Way The Cookie Fumbles

Hey - the big Audiozue Click-O-Rama Contest is finally over and guess what . . . Procrastination Station came in 3rd place.

It's like my mentor, One-Eyed Sylvio always said "Drive for snow and putt for glow".

Oh, wait . . . maybe it was "A rolling scone gathers no sauce"

"If you can't beat 'em, join the NAACP"?

Anyway, I had a blast and I know I speak for all 6 & 1/2 of us here at Corporate Headquarters when I say "Thank You" to all the PS readers out there who clicked through and checked out Levi's newest creation. Audiozue should be way cool when it hits later this month, and it was a pleasure helping get the word out about it.

Good Luck, Levi.


Ben O.

Feedback Saturday (#28)

Okay, here's one for ya on yet another Feedback Saturday . . .

What is your favorite song?

Even though I've asked you all a whole range of questions relating to music, I don't think I've ever asked the most decisive and intuitive of musical "taste" questions.

So, that's it . . . that's the assignment.

What is your favorite song?

But, it ain't quite that simple. The "Higher-Ups" here at Procrastination Station Corporate Headquarters would fire me on the spot if I let you off the hook that easily. And wouldn't Evil Twin Biff just love that?

No . . . I want to know some backstory. I want to hear all about that trip to New York when you first heard those intensely subtle opening notes of Marvin Gaye's "What's Going On", or the memory of that rodeo in West Texas that is and will forever be attached to the song "Amarillo by Morning" by George Strait, or maybe it's the way you met your wife doing the Hokey Pokey in a suburban Roller Rink with a clown named Rollo dancing to Kool & The Gang's "Celebration Time".

I don't personally give a whoop . . . I just want to hear about it.

Can ya dig it?

Should be fun . . .


Ben O.

(BTW - Don't forget to click the Audiozue button if ya haven't already. The contest is almost over and thanks to all of you rabidly loyal PS readers out there, we're currently hanging on to 3rd place. You people rock!)

You Can Have The Cot

Okay, here's one for ya . . .

I think our TV is haunted.

Yep, that's what I said. Haunted . . . not like Poltergeist or Amityville Horror or even Scary Movie 19, but haunted nonetheless.

Here's the scenario . . .

My wife and I have just prepared a lovely meal of grilled salmon, mashed new potatoes and slow-baked asparagus. Two tall glasses of wine and the world's biggest digital cable remote and we're set for another enjoyable evening of food, conversation and "Deal or No Deal". A couple of clicks later and there it is - the tell-tale sign of the ghost in our flat-screened machine. Right when Howie Mandel is about to get funky and start straying from the script, a string of words suddenly appears across the screen in a blaze of mysterious glory.

"You can have the cot."

Hello!?!

That's what it said . . . "You can have the cot."

What cot?

I didn't even know I was in the market for a cot. For that matter, who uses cots anymore, anyway?

Now, this certainly is not the first time that our over-used and under-appreciated television set has felt the need to wax poetic in the form of spontaneously displayed text across the screen. Ordinarily, it's just random letters, numbers and/or symbols that we just write off as either residual energy build-up or possibly a minor possession by any number of lesser, wayward spirits. But this was the first time that it was even remotely intelligible . . . even if the meaning is still somewhat less than understandable.

Apparently, our lil' resident spook came across a copy of "Communicating from the Great Beyond for Dummies" and is now trying to tell us something.

Or maybe the parts of my mind that I'm losing now are finally the important parts.

Either way, I'll probably end up somewhere in the near future discussing this with a professional . . .

laying on a cot.


Ben O.

(BTW - Don't forget to click the Audiozue button if ya haven't already. Thanks!)

Feedback Friday (#27)

Okay, here's one for ya . . .

What is your least favorite part of your personality?

We're cuttin' right to the chase this week. Uncharacteristically direct, you might say.

Without getting too terribly personal, fill myself and the overbearing (and underpaying) Management here at Procrastination Station in on that side of yourself that you would rather not see quite as much of.

Maybe you have an undeniable tendency to swipe packages of diapers from the "Up-All-Nite" when the clerk is out for a smoke, or could it be that you delight in collecting perfectly folded sheets of dryer lint from the community laundry, or it might even be that you secretly want to be a knight in shining armour.

We're not judging here (well, we might judge a lil' bit) . . . the point is that as long as we can avoid the words "little", "bo" and "peep" in that order . . . I think we're all gonna be okay.

Think of it as a discount session in group therapy . . . or you could also think of it as exposing something that is terribly painful and utterly personal to thousands and thousands of people.

Your choice.

* actually, it's more like 10's and 10's of people . . . but who's counting?


Ben O.

(BTW - Don't forget to click the Audiozue button if ya haven't already. Thanks!)

Until Next Year . . .

Well, Ski Season is finally over and here is the rundown for anyone who is interested (I know there is at least one person out there . . . hey, who put that mirror there?)

13 days on the sticks broken down as follows -

2 at Arapahoe Basin
4 at Copper Mountain
2 at Winter Parkand
5 at Sol Vista

That's approximately 5,923 turns made; 873,561 flakes of snow run over; 2 1/2 toes frozen off and exactly no underwear modeling contract offer signings.

I try to look cool when I catch air, but nobody seems to notice.

Oh well . . . until next year.


Ben O.

(BTW - Don't forget to click the Audiozue button if ya haven't already. Thanks!)

Hey, I Can Post Another Cartoon If I Want . . . It's My Freakin' Blog

Okay, I had already posted the three Mr. Boffo strips down below (check 'em out they're great) when I came across this one and nearly fell off the chair.

Any questions?

Ben O.

Three Strange Days

Did I mention that Mr. Boffo is one of the strangest, all-out funniest comics around?
This dude's mind gives me hope that I'm not quite as out-there as I'm convinced that I am. I love how it primarily takes just one panel to successfully deliver the payload of funny.

Ben O.

Feedback Saturday (#26)

Okay people, Saturday went and showed up again and that can only mean one thing . . .

Time to wash the socks?

Couldn't hurt.

Actually, I was sort of thinking about some feedback. What do ya say?

This week I want to know all about your favorite TV Show Theme Song.

Sounds easy, but let's give it a little thought and really come up with some interesting answers.

I must admit, that I've been toying with the idea of asking this one for awhile and I am really pretty stoked about seeing everyone's comments.

This should be fun . . .


Ben O.

(BTW - Don't forget to click the Audiozue button if ya haven't already. Thanks!)

iPod-itis

Ben's 5 questions for the new "Digital" age of music

1. Does your thumb hurt from constantly moving around in little circles?

2. Have you ever had to resort to using your cute lil' white earbuds as a weapon? (I've heard that they do in fact make a nice whapping/smacking sound when brought up against some ugly dude's face at 213 mph. Sort of a bizarre cross between a very tiny set of white, plastic nunchucks and pair of miniature rear-view mirror dice. Wield at your own risk)

3. How many different remixes of "Copa Cabana" do you currently have on your iPod?

4. Do you find yourself listening to songs on the radio or on MTV (who are we kidding . . . MTV hasn't played any music for at least 7 years) or in the elevator ride up to the Dentist's office and thinking to yourself "That song is on my iPod"?

5. Have you had to resort to wearing Joe Paterno glasses just so you can see the album artwork on your iPod screen?

If you answered "Yes" to at least 3 & 1/2 of the questions (or for that matter if you are still reading this) I'm afraid you have Stage 7 iPod-itis.

The good news is that it is relatively painless (except for that time you thought you were jamming your earphones into the iPod and weren't) and to date nobody has died of it. The bad news, though, is that there is no known cure and it gets exponentially worse each and every day. Get ready for a lifetime of microscopic album cover pictures and embarrassingly frantic late night iTunes shopping binges.

Hey, don't blame me . . . blame Steve Jobs.


Ben O.

(BTW - Don't forget to click the Audiozue button if ya haven't already. Thanks!)

Clap On . . . Clap Off

Okay, here's one for ya . . .

It's getting on toward that darkened, slow-burning part of the night that has at times been called "The Witching Hour". I know because I can just make out what sounds like Norman Bates enduring yet another scolding from his some-what-less-than-sympathetic mother amidst the blood-curdling howls of what can only be the resident pack of wild wolfmen, vampires and whatever other B-Movie, nocturnal, fang-having creatures the guys down in the prop department could come up with.

After making peace with the shadows I once again find myself sitting alone in our less-than-plush upstairs loft area, wandering around aimlessly in a place where nothing should ever be done without at least a modicum of aim . . . you know what I'm talkin' about . . . that's right . . .

The Internet.

I believe, if I'm not mistaken, that Websters defines "The Internet" as a seamlessly integrated and thoroughly high-tech network of juvenile delinquents, political whackos and smelly, sweat-stained porno dealers all bent upon cramming as much spam-ridden crapola down your email inbox as the newest available loophole will legally allow.

I'm pretty sure that's what my lil' pocket dictionary said the last time I checked.

Now, far be it from me to bad mouth any of Al Gore's inventions. I actually still use my "Clapper" every time I feel the need for a little mood lighting coming on.

What is that? He didn't invent "The Clapper"? Are you sure?

No matter - The Internet is alive and well and the only thing I enjoy more than an airport security pat-down is the freedom I enjoy as a citizen of this planet to venture forth and casually peruse any darn website I choose (At any hour and in any combination of hawaiian shirt and pajama pants I see fit to do so . . . I might add.)

As long as we all watch where we step, I think it might actually be okay to get back out there and begin surfing again. I know there might be a little fear and trepidation, but if we don't then they have already won. (To be perfectly honest, I don't even know who they are . . . but I sure don't want to see them win. Do you?)

That's what I thought.


Ben O.

(BTW - Don't forget to click the Audiozue button if ya haven't already. Thanks!)

T-Shirt Logic

Evil Twin Biff

T-Shirt Logic

Apparently, Today is the 75th Birthday of The Twinkie. The coolest part is that I think the very first one off the line is still on some grocery store shelf somewhere. Wasn't it Andy Warhol who said that after a Nucular (props, W) War the only things that would still be around would be cockroaches, Ashlee Simpson and Twinkies? I'm pretty sure it was him . . . or maybe it was Tito Jackson. No matter, the point is -

Happy Birthday Mr. Twinkie!


Evil Twin Biff

123456

For those of us who are into interesting, but altogether trivial minutiae -

Today at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00, the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06.

That won't ever happen again in our lifetime.

Have a nice day.


Ben O.