I Can't Really Complain . . . But I Still Do
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Location: Colorado

Thursday, December 09, 2010

Not-so-Jolly Holly

Okay, here's one for ya . . .

I was listening to some Christmas Music the other day. I like to do that this time of year.

And, three glaring realizations suddenly occurred to me -

1. Justin Beiber shouldn't sing . . . anything. (Oh, my bad, that was just the Chipmunks. Oops.)

2. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY needs a Platinum Mine for Christmas. It's just too ballsy asking for something that complicated, IMHO.


3. Burl Ives is a bossy old dude. Not only does he spend the entirety of his signature Christmas tune practically commanding the listener to have a Holly Jolly Christmas (whatever the heck that is), but then just in case you missed it, he actually says "and in case you didn't hear" and proceeds to repeat his orders. Lucy Van Pelt, you might have some competition on the "Bossy Christmas Personality" ballot this year.

I'm just sayin', is all.

Ben O.

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Sunday, November 21, 2010

It Was About This Time a Year Ago . . .

In case you were wondering, the staff here at Procrastination Station took a year-long vacation from all things Bloggy. Well, the year's up and it's time to blow the dust out of here and get back to the work at hand.

Which is, you ask?

Not sure, but suffice it to say that new content is, and will be, forthcoming.

I know, I know - stop before the three loyal readers finally wake up and have those heart attacks they keep threatening us with.

No, seriously. Evil Twin Biff is here. The over-worked, under-appreciated intern is still down in the sub-basement trying to figure out which wire to cut . . . is it the green one or the yellow one?

I know a year-long absence might seem a tad bit excessive. Not so. Think of it as the PS version of hitting the books and getting back to basics. We're gonna blow the roof off of the Blogosphere with a load of ultra-mediocre material the likes of which you have only sniffed in your wildest dreams up until now.

Heck, when we left you all hanging on every last word, that Swedish girl was merely dabbling in lizard tattoos, an iPad was something entirely different than what it is today, and Justin Beiber wasn't even born yet.

So, set your DVR. Lock up the yak. And get those rubber hoses out of storage, 'cuz -

We're back.

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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The Longest Two Blocks

Okay, here's one for ya . . .

My car broke down today exactly two blocks from the repair shop (to which I was in the process of driving when said automobile crapped out). This is not an extreme source of distress for me. I still have my health and two beautiful kids and a lovely, supportive wife. The sun is still shining and nobody in Australia likes Britney Spears, so most of the fabric of the Universe is intact.

But, there's still that little car thing I have to deal with.

I guess it could be worse - we could still be riding horses around like Wyatt Earp and Bill Hickock and the man from Snowy River. What would they do if their horse blew a clutch? I know exactly what they would do - camp for the night. After blowing the dang thing's brains out. Don't worry, I know we live in a more civilized time. No beasts of burden are ever going be injured on this blog or any affiliate blog of Procrastination Station. (We leave that to Evil Twin Biff and his cohorts.)

I think the only one who really neads to be scared around here is me and we all know that the point of impact is going to be my back pocket.


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Friday, June 05, 2009

Feedback Friday (#82)

Okay, here's one for ya . . .

What's with those people who name their house?

You heard me.

There are people, and not all of them are Tom Cruise-crazy or even insanely rich, out there who spend the time and effort to craft a moniker for their dwelling. In case you haven't noticed by now (and judging by those early returns, you haven't), this is a large, slightly bizarre world loaded to overflowing with somewhat less-than-normal individuals and a significant group of them are out there this very minute, NAMING THEIR HOUSE.

I guess that's just what makes them happy. Sort of like it's a cat or something.

I've heard of naming your boat or your invisible friend or your favorite golf club, but your house!?!

It's a house.

Now, in an effort to not offend everyone and drive away the few remaining PS devotees, I want to say that naming your house is . . . stupid.

Sorry, I tried to make nice, but it just squirted out.

It is a bit silly, though, let's be honest.

If you are currently filing papers to have your westside flat officially named "Percival", you probably stopped reading a few lines ago.

Darn, another valuable reader lost to the whims of maniacal persistence.

Oh well, let's get on with the task at hand and have some fun, shall we?

This week's assignment is simple -

If you were going to name your house, what would it be?

Or, if you already did name your house - where do you live? So I can be sure and avoid that area on vacation.

Seriously, let's hear all about how you've dreamed and dreamed of calling your small North Dakota shack "The Illustrious Mansionala", or how they just don't make signs big enough to print "Homer's All-Inclusive Mosquito Research and Relaxation Resort" upon.

This is your forumn, make the most of it.

Should be fun . . .

Ben O.

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Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Super Fantastic Caption Contest (#59)

Okay, it's back.

Let's not get all mushy and stuff.

I think this week's pic is a great one. I can't wait to read all those millions and millions of comments and captions.

You people are like comment-leaving machines. Voracious, I tell you . . . Voracious.

Should a good one.

Ben O.

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Friday, May 08, 2009

Feedback Friday (#81)

Okay, here's one for ya . . .

I finally finished reading the entire Harry Potter book series. Yep, done. All 29 books. In the bag.

And I must say that I found them all to be really good. I know they have a reputation as kids books, but I really got alot out of them. Looking back, I think there is a whole bunch of material in there that is actually a little beyond the childhood realm. Especially in the last few installments, which began to venture quite boldly into the ever-dark and mysterious subject of "death".

My favorite thing about them is the world that J.K. Rowling created. It was believable and even preferable sometimes. Magic and the study and care of it makes for a wonderful backdrop for a bunch of growing kids adventure stories.

So, seeing as how the over-worked, under-paid intern is still on oxygen down in the sub-basement and the last substantially legitimate sighting of Evil Twin Biff was somewhere in North Dakota, I have the place all to myself.

And that means I get to come up with the Feedback Friday question without any unnecessary distractions or intimidation. Feels good to have a unique and un-influenced thought.

So, here it is . . .

Which Harry Potter book was your favorite?

That's it. That's the assignment. Which one did you like the best. And why?

If you have never heard of Harry Potter, or if you actually are a practicing Wizard and therefore don't need to read about magic in a fictional form, tell us about the best book you've read in the past few months.

If you don't read and live in a cave, describe your favorite rock or stone.

There. Everyone should be able to participate.

Looking forward to it - Ben O.

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Tuesday, May 05, 2009

The Bane of my Blogging Existence

Okay people, here's one for ya . . .

Facebook. Anyone heard of it? Anyone participating? Anyone listening?

That's what I thought. I signed up with the intent of simply reconnecting with old friends and having a few laughs checking out old pictures and such. 109,342 hours later, I'm realizing that I might be spending a tad bit too much time on Facebook.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you shouldn't indulge. Come on, this is PS, we're all about indulgence. Just ask Evil Twin Biff. (You could if he were here, but alas, he's on "assignment" in the Yukon. Apparently they are offering free fried twinkies to the first 100 entrants in this year's Annual Moose Dropping Toss. He wanted to be sure and get up there bright and early. You know how he is.)

So, what am I ranting about anyway?

I found myself torn between two lovers. On the one hand - my beloved blog. Procastination Station. You have been with me for so long, through thick and thin. How could I ever desert you? While on the other hand - Facebook. The new kid in town. So flashy and fun . . . and time consuming.

Hopefully, I can find some happy balance. I made an excel spreadsheet last night to organize my time management and so far this is what I have -

19 hours a day devoted to Blogging
17 hours a day devoted to Facebook
8 hours a day devoted to work
1/2 hour a day devoted to eating and sleeping.

Yep, I think this is going to work out just fine.

Ben O.

Oh . . . it's good to be back!

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