I Can't Really Complain . . . But I Still Do
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Location: Colorado

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Pez Haircut

Okay, here's one for ya . . .

So I'm standing 13 people back in line at the local grocery store behind what I am completely convinced was either Santa Claus on one of his 364 days off or last year's Grand Champion at the Alabama State Fair "Burl Ives by-way-of Ernest Hemingway Look-A-Like" Contest, just minding my own business when off to my left I noticed a kid and his dad immersed in what turned out to be the funniest conversation I had heard in a good long time. Here is my humble attempt at a paraphrase :

Kid - "Hey Dad, can I give you a pez haircut?"

Dad - "Uh . . . sure."

Kid - "Cool. You won't feel a thing."

The kid then started running his empty pez dispenser all over the poor guy's head . . . apparently shaving off a giant bag full of hair that only he could see. The kid was good, too. I inexplicably found myself thinking that I would actually go to him for a haircut the next time I need one, except for that whole "this-isn't-real" thing. The best part of the whole exchange though, had to be the sound effects. I suddenly felt like I was back in junior-high watching a Police Academy movie with all of the "wizz"es and "grr"s this kid came up with. Who knew that a crappy Darth Vader pez dispenser could be so useful?

Now I'm no expert, but wouldn't the field of hair styling and follicle grooming be much improved if pez dispensers (and other candy containers, for that matter) could actually cut hair?

Here's to you, lil' guy. Maybe someday we can all live in a world where people are finally able to move past our differences and just get along, College Football is played all year long, and a pez haircut is never farther away than your local corner-barbershop.

Or candy store.

Ben O.


Blogger anne said...

Now I'm no expert, but wouldn't the field of hair styling and follicle grooming be much improved if pez dispensers (and other candy containers, for that matter) could actually cut hair?
Um, no?

4:38 AM  
Blogger Nonny said...

To Funny Ben, you have out done yourself this time. I'd ask if that was a true story, but since I have two young sons, I know it is.


5:39 AM  
Blogger Underachiever said...


You haven't lived until you've had melted caramel Bikini wax.

or Had a full facial with Nerds and Gatorade.

Undr(it isn't so bad until the ants come)

PS This is top notch funny! You da' man.

5:53 AM  
Blogger Terri said...

Pez dispensers, huh? Just think of the money I could've saved on Christmas gifts.

6:09 AM  
Blogger goldmoon said...

Ahhh, the things you can learn while eavesdropping...that's why it's one of my favorite hobbies.

7:53 AM  
Blogger Laurie said...

hahahaha... that's cute!

8:56 AM  
Blogger trinamick said...

Pez dispensers are great, but it's difficult to get them to just take a little off the top.

10:23 AM  
Blogger tshsmom said...

Imagination is the greatest toy!

1:28 PM  
Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

That is cute! :)

1:52 PM  
Blogger roselle said...

when you evesdrop you hear such things as "i promise you, i'm disease free."

good story, i could totally picture it!

3:55 PM  
Blogger Sherry said...

That is the kind of haircut I need...
Maybe it would help this horse tail on my hair.

4:37 PM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

Kids say the BEST stuff.

I was totally floored one day at work when I heard this exchange:

"Hello Dad." *big hug*
"Hello Son of Mine." *a tousle of his son's hair with his big dad-hand*

I wanted to run up and hug the both of them bit that might of scared them since we were complete strangers and I was about to try and sell the dad a coffee table.

8:52 PM  
Blogger StringMan said...

Thank god that Pez wasn't loaded. Wouldn't have been such a happy ending.

10:34 PM  
Blogger Sass said...

cheers tp a candy store never being far away

11:06 PM  
Blogger NYPinTA said...

Thank god that Pez wasn't loaded. Wouldn't have been such a happy ending. Hahahaha.

A friend of mine bought her first car because it smelled like Pez candy.

8:50 AM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Anne - You might be onto something.

Nonny - Thanks Nonny - to be truthful, it ain't completely truthful (all I did was set it in my fictitious grocerystore from hell instead of mentioning the actual people whose kid said it.)

Undr - And after you do, you don't want to remain alive. Right?

Terri - Oh, the wasted Euros. The horror!

Goldmoon - I totally agree. Thanks for stopping by, btw.

Laurie - About as cute as you sittin' atop that hog? Nice pic.

Trin - Duh! Everyone knows there is a little switch under Garfield's chin that enables just that very thing.

Tshsmom - Ain't it though?

Beading Gal - Thank you very much.

Atractiva - I can almost picture it too. Thanks for stopping by.

Sherry - Yep, who would have thought that $1.50 at Toys 'R Us and your are ready to face the world.

Sadie - I totally agree. Gotta love their little minds and not so little mouths.

Strings - Hey, you didn't hear the rest of the story. After the haircut, he busted out with two loaded pez dispensers and proceeded to . . . nope, it just doesn't work, does it?

Sass - exactly.

Nypinta - Well, at least it beats rotten camel hair.

Ben O.

9:23 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

A Pez Haircut.

I heard about the origins of the Pez candy and it had an interesting story. Now, if I didn't suffer from C.R.S., I'd share it with you. But I forgot it.

12:31 AM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Zombster, you're such a tease.

Ben O.

10:17 AM  
Blogger JustTerry said...

with four kids I have had my share of "pez" Haircuts as well as a million other procedures, including but not limited to dentisrty health check ups a viceral appendectomy.

6:13 AM  

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