I Can't Really Complain . . . But I Still Do
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Friday, December 30, 2005

Evil Twin Biff's T-Shirt Logic

Okay . . . Christmas was great and everyone loves gettin' all sentimental, but in the illustrious words of the older brother on Home Alone - "Enough of this mushy sh . . . ow of affection."

***ALERT***

The State of Iowa in all their radiant brilliance has decided to release my evil twin Biff, much to the dismay of the owners of that diner he held hostage for three nights back in '88. Apparently he has paid his debt to society and is now no longer a threat to the pancake eating masses out there in the general public. (I personally disagree, but I don't get to vote on it.)

The important thing for you, the reading public, to know is that he has taken a part-time position here at Procrastination Station as an OpEd columnist. His piece "T-Shirt Logic" will be appearing from time to time . . . consider yourself warned. I recommend preparing yourself and your immediate household by taking a few simple steps. You might want to consider renewing the "temporary insanity" floater on your life insurance policy as well as re-upholstering the couch and/or chez lounge. It's totally up to you whether or not you want to install a Tornado Shelter out back . . . some do, some don't.

So, without further ado . . . here goes -


Biff

7 Comments:

Blogger Sadie Lou said...

Hilarious.
Does your evil twin do evil deeds in your name?
I want to know who I'm dealing with...
How can we even be sure you're Ben?

*hmmmm*

It's a little known fact that I have never owned a T-Shirt with writting on it.
I hate T-shirts that "say" something.

11:18 AM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

oh yes...
Firsties!

11:18 AM  
Blogger Manic Mom said...

I soooo need that shirt!

11:47 AM  
Blogger tshsmom said...

Finally, there's something Sadie and I disagree about.
I won't wear a t-shirt if it DOESN'T say something. Looking forward to Biff's wisdom.

2:47 PM  
Blogger roger said...

That's it no more T-shirts for me that say anything.
I cant wait for Biff's comment on Global warming.
East west questions, the always nagging,white or brown toast, chicken or egg,up or down,on top or on the bottom. It never ends.
You know whats next....

5:40 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

Ahhhhh took the words right out of my mouth! Does Biff have any plans for New Years? *Giggle* Happy New Year!!

8:18 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Reminds me of a joke. Dang, I'll have to come back to this post when I remember how it went without slaughtering it...

12:34 AM  

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