Yowza!
Okay, here's one for ya . . .
You know that feeling you get back at the base of your skull when the drive-up window guy lazily drops all of your change between the car and the building while he's handing you the bag full of Double-Whoppers and all you can do is smile because you forgot to bring your stainless steel nunchucks or your sawed-off shotgun?
Well, this isn't about that.
Heck no . . . today we're gonna throw caution to the wind and dive head first into the shallow end of the discussionary topic pool. And I don't even see a lifeguard.
Of course, the topic I'm referring to is the weather. Pretty exciting stuff, huh? Just ask the dude who's camaro was struck by lightning a record 117 times in 24 minutes because he neglected to heed the Weatherman's not-so-subtle warning not to leave the house under any circumstances whatsoever. Can you say "fried mullet"?
I'm certainly no expert on the subject, but why couldn't weather be fun? If they can get 399 million people to vote for the next American Idol, they should be able to produce a weather forcast with at least a little splash of pizazz. I've seen more exciting deliveries made by Zelda the High School Lunch Lady on "Mystery Meat Gumbo" day.
Yikes!
The problem, at least as far as I can tell, is that as long as Paris Hilton keeps releasing "Secret" homemade porn videos, the planet is going to keep heating up. It's simple cause and effect. (or is that affect? I always get the two mixed up).
Thankfully "Captain Internet" himself Al Gore is out there working hard to get the word out. I'm pretty sure that before he gassed up the VW Wagon and hit the road promoting his new documentary, the Earth had about 30 years left before total destruction(give or take a month), but now, thanks to high-octane poisioning we're sittin' precariously somewhere on the edge of 23.
Dang, and I had so much to do!
Ben O.
(Thanks to everyone who made the Super Fantastic Caption Contest a rousing success. If you haven't graced us with your comments yet, scroll down a tad and join in the fun.)
You know that feeling you get back at the base of your skull when the drive-up window guy lazily drops all of your change between the car and the building while he's handing you the bag full of Double-Whoppers and all you can do is smile because you forgot to bring your stainless steel nunchucks or your sawed-off shotgun?
Well, this isn't about that.
Heck no . . . today we're gonna throw caution to the wind and dive head first into the shallow end of the discussionary topic pool. And I don't even see a lifeguard.
Of course, the topic I'm referring to is the weather. Pretty exciting stuff, huh? Just ask the dude who's camaro was struck by lightning a record 117 times in 24 minutes because he neglected to heed the Weatherman's not-so-subtle warning not to leave the house under any circumstances whatsoever. Can you say "fried mullet"?
I'm certainly no expert on the subject, but why couldn't weather be fun? If they can get 399 million people to vote for the next American Idol, they should be able to produce a weather forcast with at least a little splash of pizazz. I've seen more exciting deliveries made by Zelda the High School Lunch Lady on "Mystery Meat Gumbo" day.
Yikes!
The problem, at least as far as I can tell, is that as long as Paris Hilton keeps releasing "Secret" homemade porn videos, the planet is going to keep heating up. It's simple cause and effect. (or is that affect? I always get the two mixed up).
Thankfully "Captain Internet" himself Al Gore is out there working hard to get the word out. I'm pretty sure that before he gassed up the VW Wagon and hit the road promoting his new documentary, the Earth had about 30 years left before total destruction(give or take a month), but now, thanks to high-octane poisioning we're sittin' precariously somewhere on the edge of 23.
Dang, and I had so much to do!
Ben O.
(Thanks to everyone who made the Super Fantastic Caption Contest a rousing success. If you haven't graced us with your comments yet, scroll down a tad and join in the fun.)
posted by Ben O. | 2:45 PM
7 Comments:
Hey Ben O!
Thanks for the optimistic news!
I guess the cup is half full...of hemlock...
Well it was fun while it lasted, I guess...
Nice knowin' you!
Take care out there...while you can...
Your Pal,
Zambo.
Zambo - Dude, it is hot in Colorado. And I ain't just blowin' sunshine either.
Ben O.
I get confused with effect and affect too! Strange.
Can someone explain that for me? Please don't talk about Paris Hilton. If you've noticed, I've tried to ignore that she exists.
If you want some live webcam fun, go to nationalzoo.com.
Naked Mole Rats are pretty sexy.
Sadie - I saw that on your blog - pretty cool stuff.
Sorry about mentioning the one who we shall not mention. (I feel like I'm in a Harry Potter book all of a sudden.)
Ben O.
I don't know about "sexy", though.
Half-clothed tree sloths are sexy, but naked mole rats . . . come on.
Ben O.
I'm a firm believer that if people do not talk about something for a long time--it will go away. Remember Clay Atkins? Yeah, me either.
Then how come Ashlee Simpson still feels the need to go on tour?
Ben O.
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