I Can't Really Complain . . . But I Still Do
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Location: Colorado

Monday, May 22, 2006

Sir . . . Your Next

Okay, here's one for ya . . .

I just happened to be surfing through the "creepy-but-amazingly-still-legal" section of eBay again last night before leaving the PS branch office and . . . as of of 2:37 AM, the highest bid for my ultra-rare collection of "slightly-used" celebrity chewing gum was just under $745. Not too bad, considering I don't even have Burt Reynolds or that lady who played Flo on the sitcom "Alice".

Now I'm certainly no financial expert, but doesn't it seem a tad strange that every single suburban soccer mom in line at Albertsons is willing to fork over $39.50 for a limited edition "Mork from Ork" Pez dispenser on eBay, but blanches noticeably when the price of a gallon of gasoline gets anywhere near the cost of a mocha at Starbucks? Hey, I don't like having to pay off my fuel bill in installments either, but that doesn't mean that I'm shelling out miniature Benjamin Franklin portraits to some lady named Queen Ebayla with one hand while way over on the other side of my body, the other hand just happens to be holding a "will work for food" sign.

See . . . this is what makes America such a wonderful country. The last time I checked (and I check about as often as my electrified ankle bracelet will allow), there was absolutely no wording in the Constitution even remotely limiting my (and your) right to stay up all freakin' night spending ridiculous mountains of un-budgeted cash purchasing the most obscure collector bling that eBay, in all it's supreme bizarreness, has to offer. It just ain't there . . . not even next to that little 1st amendment thingy.

So, what am I trying to say?

Who knows (or cares for that matter).

But, I do know this much . . .

If I lose out on another toaster that burns the image of David Hasselhof onto the toast, I'm gonna have to get medieval on somebody's head. It's as simple as that.

And don't think I don't know how to use these nunchucks.

Ben O.


Anonymous mark said...

That's good stuff Ben, actually made me laugh out loud... Can you believe I typed laugh out loud! Yeah, that's how I roll.

8:38 PM  
Blogger mcBlogger said...

AH, I had a great laugh. Thank you. Ebay is an entirely other world. It's like a completely independent ecosystem. Weird!

9:45 AM  
Blogger Kathleen said...

Nice commentary, I agree completely.

My question is "What happened to Feedback Friday/Saturday?"

9:56 AM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Mark - You are so unpredictable . . . just when I think you're gonna zig, you go and zag. Crazy Cool.

McBlogger - eBay is actually pretty cool, I enjoy "window" shopping on it. I'm always amazed at what people will sell on there (and more amazed at what people will buy).

Kathleen - It's just on the shelf until this Friday (or Saturday). I just slacked, that's the depth of my explanation. Pretty weak, huh?

Glad to hear that at least one person is interested in it.

Ben O.

10:35 AM  
Blogger Zambo said...

Hey Ben O!

These truly are strange times...I know what you mean about being amazed at what people will sell/buy...I worked at a recycling facility for a summer and noticed the same phenomenon...It's weird what some folks will throw out...and even more amazing what folks will buy in the first place...

Good post, Ben!

Take care out there!

Your Pal,


7:36 PM  
Blogger StringMan said...

DUDE, I completely understand your sentiment about the Hasselhof toaster! Go medieval!!!

8:42 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Speaking of David Hasselhorf, I have to tell you this story.

I was a kid when Night Rider came out. I knew that when Michael Night was in Kit, nothing bad could happen to him. It was when he got out of the car, I got worried. I'd always say "get back in the car, Michael!" Of course, I wouldn't say it out loud because even as a kid, I knew I'd be seen as a wuss, but that's what I would be thinking.

9:37 PM  

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