I Can't Really Complain . . . But I Still Do
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Location: Colorado

Thursday, January 19, 2006

That's Gonna Leave A Mark

Okay, here's one for ya . . .

Has anyone seen the brain that every single executive in the sports industry shares? I think I heard a rumour that it was on a plane headed for Whitefish, Montana enroute to the Annual "Let's See How Much More We Can Muck Up The Best Thing We Have Going" Convention.

Ding, Ding. You are now free to fly off the handle.

Thanks . . . I think I will.

Now I'm no expert, but when did it suddenly become acceptable for that gigantic sports venue sitting across from all of those shiny buildings downtown, that we all helped pay for, to be called anything other than "This is our lil' town's collective pride and joy and you can never put a price on it" Stadium? Apparently it happened a couple of years ago while we were all distracted by the final episode of Seinfeld (for my money the last Cheers was actually much better). We all
went to sleep and woke up the next day with a strange taste in our mouths. Something wasn't quite right . . . but nobody could quite put their finger on what it was. Until that Sunday when we all picked up our tickets and headed out for the game. Everything was seemingly perfect. The birds were singing, the air was nice and clean, and then, much to our surprise, we found ourselves standing awestruck in front of some hideous monstrosity with an enormous pulsating electric sign that said "Welcome to Preparation H Stadium".

Excuse Me?!? Oh no you didn't!

Just exactly how the heck are you supposed to get excited about spending three hours of your life cheering on your team in a place named after a product your grand-uncle-in-law uses when he can't sit down? Anyone? I don't even like picking that stuff up off the Walgreen's shelf, much less pondering how I'm gonna explain myself to the Wife once I've finally talked her into going to the game with me.

Could ya have maybe thought about it for longer than three and a half seconds before ya decided that the best possible means of getting the word out about your product was to paint the name across our building in larger-than-life color? I mean, you get to tee off at Pebble Beach tomorrow, while we have to drive past the place on our way to work. And might I add that it's uphill both ways.

Now the way I see it, we admittedly shoulder at least a portion of the blame. I guess each and every taxpayer could dig a little bit deeper and come up with the $14,000 that we would undoubtedly each have to pony up if Daddy Warbucks wasn't there to buy the naming rights. Let me just check my pockets. Hey, what do you know . . . I've got $4.78. Can I pay it off in installments?

Okay, maybe that isn't the answer either.

I guess until some benevolent company steps up and selflessly offers to pay for the right to name a sports venue something like "Citizenry Field" or "John Q. Public Arena", I'll just have to get a running start and try like heck to hold my nose as I enter underneath the giant, glow-in-the-dark "Odor-Eaters International Ballpark" banner.

Oh the humanity . . .

Ben O. (for my father, Dad O. I enjoyed talking with you the other day.)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dad O here-
I enjoyed visiting also. I guess I am to nostalgic but I just can't see the commercialization of the sports stadiums although I know that is the trend. I miss the thoughts that accompany the announcement that the game will be at Mile High Stadium, etc.
I also enjoyed the Kolaches and Starbucks. I look forward to Brother O and myself coming for another episode of fly fishing.
To all of your readers, I appreciate your letting me add a comment with a personal touch and I hope it did not bore you.

3:13 PM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Dad O. is in the house!

Everybody say hello to my Dad.

Ben O.

3:33 PM  
Blogger :P fuzzbox said...

Hey Dad O. The Denver stadium is quite a mouthful name as Blank Field at Mile High. I am just glad that feminine hygeine products haven't bought naming rights to any stadiums to cash in on the female fans. I really couldn't see going to Massengall Fields are Forever.

4:53 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

Standium talk?? Hmmmm... The Lincoln Financial field in Philly is beautifulllllll... that's all I gotta say about that! =)

Hi Dad O.!

6:23 PM  
Blogger BUDDESS said...

A warm South African Hello to Dad O. It is never boring when a family member visits the station. Just to say that we are also seeing this trend here. Problem is that the names change so fast, you can't keep up. As for female brand names - imagine watching a football game at Lillets Park.

1:00 AM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Fuzz - I know . . . I am scared of something like Tampax Field or Stayfree Stadium not being too far off in the future.

Shannon - I agree that they can be and usually are spectacular buildings. I love the space they take up and the grandeur of them. I just hate the names. Ours is called "Invesco Field at Mile High" Is that the wussiest copout you have ever heard? Sell out or don't sell out. I do what most everyone else does and just call it Mile Stadium. There.

Buddess - Ain't Dad's great? I hate to even ask what a Lillet is . . . haven't heard of that one over here.

Ben O.

1:09 AM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

I meant to say Mile High Stadium . . .

Ben O.

Word Verification -

kqashu = sort of like a cross between a sneeze and a cough

1:12 AM  
Blogger FredCQ said...

Sorry..but I tagged you:


6:01 AM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

I laughed out loud at your neon sign shocker. That's really bad.

(Hey Dad O.!--not boring; no worries. Love Mom O. by the way)

I noticed all your fun, little, clicky-type things on the left of your blog--wow. I'll have to check those out.

8:06 AM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Fred - Thanks alot, dude. I must have turned off the "Tag Deflector Shields" last night.

No, seriously . . . that's cool . . . I'll get right on it.

Sadie - Thanks. Yep, I've been a lil' busy trying to spruce up the place. I must admit to becoming a total iPod freak now that I have one. Before I never really understood the hype, but now I get it. I'm just having way too much fun with the little thing.

Ben O.

9:28 AM  
Blogger Kathleen said...

I completely agree with you on the stadium naming deal. When I lived in SF the only people who called Candlestick 3Com were the people who had to. Same here in Detroit, Pine Knob (outdoor amphitheatre) is now officially the DTE Energy Pavilion or some such crap. EVERYBODY but the poor slobs on the radio who can't still calls it Pine Knob. And even though the Tigers don't really play at the original Tiger Stadium anymore, I refuse to call the place where the Tigers play anything other than Tiger Stadium.

Dad O - Nothing wrong with nostalgia especially when compared to gross commercialization.

10:50 AM  
Blogger Laurie said...

I know, I absolutely hate how everything in life has become commercialized.

Detroit - home of Comerica Park and Ford Field. :-P

10:59 AM  
Blogger StringMan said...

As for Prep H stadium, you have to admit that some of those stadium seats do a number on your ass.

The Boston Celtics home was called, for a short time, The Fleet Center. Fleet in this case was a regional bank, but it is also the name of an enema product. That more aptly described the way the Celts were playing at the time ...

12:12 PM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

I love the iPod too. I even want to buy a little sweater for it, for--ya know--when it's cold outside.

9:15 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

In Seattle, we actually voted against a new stadium. The mayor and his cronies went against our wishes and wasted taxpayer money anyways, against our votes, and built a new stadium. then the jackass had the audacity to name it after some corporation. I boycotted it. I hope your Broncos kill the Seahawks. Go Broncos!

(You know I'm a Packers fan so it pains me to say that. That's how much I hate Seattle).

2:18 AM  
Blogger Lingo Slinger said...

ugh!! big business has no business naming our local stadiums and arenas. that is so horrible...

we had a similar situation here (although not quite as shocking or distasteful of a name). our beloved skydome was bought by rogers and renamed "the rogers centre"... way to blow your own horn there ted rogers... what the millions and bazillions of dollars you make isn't enough for ya? you need to rename the (already ideally named) skydome to the rogers centre!! you bigheaded pratt!!!

sorry... didn't mean to go off there. i didn't even hear the "ding ding"

oh... and if you've ever seen the show intervention, you might wanna check out my latest.

8:28 AM  
Blogger Kathleen said...

I actually have no trouble with Ford Field being called Ford Field as the Lions are owned by the Fords, and they did build the stadium.

And I heard that Mike Illitch wasn't going to allow corporate sponsorship of Tiger Stadium until he had to pay Sergei Fedorov $22 million in one year - so blame Mr. Karmanos of Compuware and the Carolina Hurricanes for that one.

11:46 AM  

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