I Can't Really Complain . . . But I Still Do
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Location: Colorado

Monday, October 03, 2005

You Have No New Messages

It's starting to get late and I'm still staring blankly at my beautiful, white screen trying to turn on the funny.

Where does it come from? Why is the scene in "Blues Brothers" where the hotel manager asks Elwood if he got his Cheese Whiz, and he actually did get him a can of Cheese Whiz, so unbelievably hilarious? (I actually think that certain words simply have an innate funniness to them. Case in point - Cheese Whiz, Fumble and Butafuoco.) Sometimes the best comedic trick is to wrap one really funny scene stealthily in an otherwise nerd-fest (albeit in a cool way) of a movie. Remember the scene in "Tron" where Flynn is helping them break into the building with the Master Control Program and the outside door is like 30 feet thick, and all he says is "Now, that is a big door"? You can't keep from laughing if you tried. Heck, I'm laughing right now just thinking about it. (Some of you have been laughing since I mentioned the movie "Tron".)

Now I'm no expert, but the last time I took a reading (and I try and take one about 2 - 3 times a week), my handy-dandy humor-meter rang up a less than funny measurement. Apparently as the Earth gets warmer, things are gettin' unfunnier . . . and I humbly submit that that ain't good. Where are Larry, Moe and Curly when we need 'em?

Lewis Black would be jamming a pencil into his ear about now, so before we go and do anything rash - let's simply take a deep breath, count slowly to 167 in backwards intervals of 3 and then perform a slow-grind to the song "Kung-Fu Fighting". (It's sort of like churning the butter, only not so much.) Are you with me? Is the needle moving at all?

I refuse to admit that all is hopelessly lost. There are still vast, untapped reservoirs of incredibly potent funniness out there and the best part is that we don't need to pass some momentously onerous bi-partisan energy bill to legally plunder them. All you have to do is strip down to your thong, spray-paint the word "Spank" on your back and dive right in. A belly-flop might even be appropriate in this instance.

"Is this going to leave a mark?"


So, as one sky-diver said to the others right before leaping off of the cliff, "Two out of three ain't bad."

Ben O.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I did laugh when you mentioned Tron.

Need a good laugh? Check out McSweeney's or Yankee Pot Roast

I hope those links work ;)

7:07 AM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

Master Control Panel:You're in trouble, program. Why don't you make it easy on yourself. Who's your user?
CLU: Forget it, mister high-and-mighty Master Control! You're not going to make me talk!
Master Control Program: Suit yourself.

How lame is that?! *laughing*
Gotta love the 80's movies.
Do you watch The Office? (American version or the original BBC version)
That's my weekly does of funny.

9:45 AM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Haven't seen it yet, Sadie.

I get my fill watching Futurama reruns late at night on Cartoon Network. I also like Mythbusters and Miami Ink, which probably aren't billed as funny shows, but always seem to make me laugh.

There's also Who's Line is it Anyway?

Ben O.

10:13 AM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

I love Mythbusters.
My son is 8 and he can't get enough of that show. It appeals to his science and learning as well as his wild and crazy side.
He's always saying," Mom, those guys are crazy!"
He would love to be paid to do that stuff.

10:41 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

I love the way you changed your blog. It looks great. You had me at Tron. =)

1:15 PM  
Blogger NYPinTA said...

I have actually never seen Tron.

2:58 PM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Never Seen Tron? That's the homework assignment - everyone needs to watch Tron and report back here ASAP.

Pretty cool story idea - it is a tad dated, but still a nice movie.

And there is the "That's a big door" scene, which makes the entire enterprise worth participating in.

Ben O.

3:28 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Where are Larry, Moe and Curly when we need 'em?

I'm probably in a minority here, but Shemp made me laugh the hardest. He was so goofy looking that I laughed at everything he did.

10:15 PM  
Blogger Scott said...

One of the unintentionally funniest scenes for me was in Johnny Mnemonic, when Keanu freaks out and ends with something about dry cleaning. In fact, any movie with Keanu trying for the Oscar is worth watching in Mystery Science Theatre style.

7:48 AM  
Blogger NYPinTA said...

Johnny Mnemonic
That movie cracks me up. My favorite part is when Henry Rollins mows over the street preacher! Ha!

10:14 AM  
Blogger marrie said...

I've never actually watched Tron. My little brother loved Tron and would watch it over and over when I was a kid, I just zoned out when it was on.

It is strange how some things are funny to some people and others aren't. The thing that got me laughing the most that I have laughed in a long time lately was on The Simpsons. This grumpy old lady told this guy to do something that was impossible and he said, "But that's impossible" and she said, "What are you, the possible police?"
I laughed and laughed and no one else laughed at all. I even laugh now just thinking about it.

11:29 AM  
Blogger Rednaked said...

My favorite laugh every time scene is in Jeepers Creepers II at the end. They shoot the monster/demon in the leg and wing and he's in this corn field flopping and jumping, trying to fly.

12:08 PM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Yep - it is funny how one person's Seinfeld is another person's Renfield.

I was watching "16 Candles" the other day and almost fell off of the couch during that scene at Jake's house after the big party. The geek is in the car and Jake motions for him to go one way and he goes the exact opposite way. I just love that subtle stuff.

And by the way - when did the derogatory name Dipweed fall out of fashion? I still like it.

Ben O.

4:25 PM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...


I always thought they were saying something else...something more like d*ckweed.

7:03 AM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Sadie - they might have been, but I like the PG version better for some reason.

Fun for the whole family

Ben O.

Word Verification -

punfeaak = Someone who is absolutely nuts about puns.

8:41 AM  
Blogger Used Hack said...

I'm with you, man. I haven't had much time to write, and when I did it wasn't funny. Hopefully, I'll be able to turn on the funny this weekend.

1:40 PM  

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