I Can't Really Complain . . . But I Still Do
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Friday, September 16, 2005

Feedback Friday (#4)

Yes, it's that time again . . .

The air is getting cooler, the leaves will soon be changing, college football is in full swing and Halloween is just around the corner. So, in that vein, what could possibly be scarier than Britney Spears having a baby? I humbly submit that there ain't much that is.

Now I know it's a free country and all, but when did we all flip out and decide to start giving our precious little babies the most ridiculous names? Is it simply a big game to see how many vowels can be squeezed onto the "name" blank of a birth certificate. It sort of makes me feel like spinning the wheel and saying, "Pat, I would like to solve the puzzle now."

Believe it or not, VH-1 actually had an hour-long show about goofy baby names last month. Among the most unusual were "Rebel", "Apple", "Reighnbo" and my personal favorite - "Jermajesty". You heard right . . . Jermain Jackson actually named his son "Jermajesty Jackson". For my money we could have skipped all the rest and devoted the show's entire hour to how retarded that name is. (And please don't email me and say that your name is Jermajesty and you just love it, because it isn't and you don't. It's stupid . . . period.)

Now, let me put my three and a quarter inch tall soapbox away and get to the Feedback portion of Feedback Friday.

Here it is -

Everyone who is still reading this is invited to leave a comment detailing either a goofball name that makes you crack up every time you hear it, or some traumatic story from your youth about how you always had to explain to everyone how to spell or pronounce your own name.

For the last time . . . there is only 1 "l" in the name "Pear Salad Jones".

Ben O.

25 Comments:

Blogger LB said...

How about Candida? I've met two, count'em, two people with this name. I crack up because this is the technical name for a yeast infection ewwwwwww.

5:44 AM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Ewwwww is right.

Makes you want to totally exhaust every scientific dictionary before you name your kids, huh?

Ben O.

7:52 AM  
Blogger Lady K said...

Try living with the name "Tina Louise..." I'm either from Gilligan's Island or a stripper. Well, I DO like to take my clothes off...[grin] AND, LB, YES. Wasn't that the name of a famous pop song way back when? Oh what WAS that dude thinking? Tony Orlando. Took me long enough to think of it. JEEZUS can I DATE myself more?

11:13 AM  
Blogger Lady K said...

BTW, Ben, LOVE your site. Sorry I'm so rude. LOVE your taste in music. FLOYD RULES!

11:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey ben o...sister o here. :) sorry i missed the atari day. we literally found a box with 2 intact atari consoles, joysticks, and at least 15 games. my personal favorite was pitfall.

i don't know about crazy names. as a teacher, i had a lot of kids with interesting names. the best were ones their parents so obviously just made up the day they were born. it's like they hadn't thought about it, and they had to come up with something on the fly.

hope you guys enjoyed the pictures. :) will check back soon.

1:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is not original from me, but a friend who teaches kindergarten told me of the name "Abcde", and it was pronounced "Ab-si-dee". Do you think they waited till the last minute to pick a name or what? P.S. I'm still taking bids on the box of Atari treasures.
MOM

2:50 PM  
Blogger Lingo Slinger said...

There was this dude named Mike (pretty normal name), but his last name was Adcock. So whenever he emailed anybody his email address would come up as madcock@_____

The company wouldn't change it either... That was their "standard" email address format for all employees.

10:52 PM  
Blogger Terri said...

Some people shouldn't be allowed to have children.
Which musician was it who named one of his kids "Moon Unit"? And I think the other one he called "Dweezil".
Of course I could also be hallucinating - can anyone else remember?

3:51 AM  
Blogger LB said...

Terri, That would be Frank Zappa (may he rest in peace).

6:27 AM  
Blogger KayseaLove said...

I like the name Anonymous.
My daughters name is Raven,
I will name my son Phoenix to keep the bird theme going.
I know children named: Xena, Tequila, Mystical, Santana, Orion, and Xavier.

7:49 AM  
Blogger NYPinTA said...

I went furniture shopping with a friend of mine and this very well dressed salesman came up to us to ask if we wanted any help. She told him that we were just looking and he said, "Well if you need anything, just ask for me. My name is Yogi." And to make it worse his voice went higher on the last syllable. I started laughing so hard I had to walk away.
I still feel bad about laughing in his face, but I couldn't help it.

12:32 PM  
Blogger LiVEwiRe said...

What's scarier than Britney and a baby? Paris-mutha-luvin-Hilton with a baby, that's what. =)

Ok, dumb names - no joke here. Dilaudid (yes, the narcotic. Generic name hydromorphone) A woman went into the pharmacy where a coworker of mine worked (he is a pharmacist) and gave over the child's insurance card. He thought it was a drug allergy and confirmed with the parent. Nope - that's what she named her daughter. Says that when she was in labor that's what they gave her to relax her and she loved it so much that was what she wanted to name her daughter. Honest - I couldn't even make that up if I tried.

People are just weird.

2:39 PM  
Blogger j said...

i work with a lot of dutch people and their names- yikes!

one girl had a list for me:
parents friends- Dick and Fuchya Coxs
mom's best friend- Shitzka, Shitty for short

2:57 PM  
Blogger marrie said...

My brother wanted to name his daughter Kiwi. I said, "Chester, Do you WANT her to be a stripper?" Honestly, can you picture a supreme court justice named Kiwi? How about a pole dancer? Maybe having the name Chester and being taunted by "Chester the Molester" and "Chest nuts roasting on an open fire" skewed him senses.
Everyone always thinks my name is pronounced "Mary" but it is "Marie" but that hasn't been a big deal really.

6:11 PM  
Blogger jenbeauty said...

Oh god...my maiden name was a nightmare for me. It earned me the nic koko but it also caused loads more nics from the boys. The worst of the lot...I don't even want to say!

7:32 AM  
Blogger trinamick said...

If I had been a boy, my parents were going to name me either Paco Bob or Smokey Blake. Neither were on drugs at the time. I'm so glad I'm a girl.

2:41 PM  
Blogger Jim Donahue said...

Rachel Griffiths, from "Six Feet Under," named her son Banjo.

My sister says she went to college with a girl named Brandy Alexander.

9:08 AM  
Blogger NYPinTA said...

My parents thought they were having a boy, (This was before ultra sounds), so they never bothered with picking a girls name. If I had been a boy, I would have been named Edwin.
Because they had not chosen a girls name my mother sarcastically suggested naming me after my father's mother. He didn't get it that she was kidding.
Curse my mother's sarcasm!

11:08 AM  
Blogger KELLI BELLY said...

My brothers middle name is Wharten and his wife's middle name is Wallace. They belong together.

11:29 AM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Great, great stuff - thanks for all the wonderful comments.

I was watching college football this past Saturday (where else would you want to be . . . right?) and they kept announcing this player named Jasmine, only when they showed it on the screen HE spelled it Jazzmen. His parents must have really loved jazz . . . or been shooting cocaine at the time.

I had never seen that one before.

Ben O.

6:36 AM  
Blogger John said...

Penn Jillette of "Penn & Teller" named his daughter Moxie Crimefighter. That's the best name ever.

I used to work with a woman with a friend named Ophelia Dickie.

7:13 AM  
Blogger Little Miss said...

um. Crogan or Bastian. (i know them both, poor kids)

10:04 AM  
Blogger John said...

Bastian's not a bad name. I'll bet he gets all kinds of chicks with that name.

"Hey, baby. I'm bastian. Wanna ride my luck dragon?"

"Do I?!"

1:41 PM  
Blogger Jenny G said...

I know people named Precious, Princess, and Sunshine. At least Britney gave her baby a normal name! Jermajesty... *shudders* Well, the Jackson family isn't know for its normalcy.

3:44 PM  
Blogger Melinda said...

I dated an Orion. His brother's name was Zepher. I also knew a guy named Ilia.

9:10 PM  

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