I Can't Really Complain . . . But I Still Do
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Location: Colorado

Thursday, December 20, 2007

May I Have This Dance?

Okay, here's one for ya . . .

Just what the heck is a Mannheim Steamroller anyway? I always sort of pictured this group of hardcore metal guys, since that name sounds so industrial. But, then I actually listened to a song and . . . not so much. I am now under the assumption that this is not a band or group at all, but merely a dude in his pajamas with one of those super-duper casio keyboards with the pre-recorded bank of "realistic" drum sounds. Has anyone actually seen the members of Mannheim Steamroller? I would love to be proven wrong here, because the name is so intriguing.

And for that matter, why does my local radio station refer to The Transiberian Orchestra as simply TSO? News Flash - That does not (repeat DOES NOT) make them any cooler or enhance the quality of the musical product in anyway. Just a heads up on that one.

As any casual PS reader will attest, we like our music here at The Station. Even Christmas music. There are some really great songs out there that only get played around this time of the year.

And then there's this sub-genre of somewhat-less-than-awesome music out there that has mysteriously been invited to the party.

Now, I'm not complaining (I would never do that). It's a free country. If John Tesh and Sally Struthers want to record a duet of The First Noel and flood the airwaves with it, I say "Go for it". I'm just a tad bit confused when I hear that the most requested song at 74% of the office parties in the Midwest is "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear" as performed by Megadeth. That just ain't right, I don't care how much eggnog you done had.

So, is there a lesson to be learned here? Most likely.

Do I know what it is yet? Absolutely not.

I think if you are going to take anything away from this post, let it be this -

Someday (and it's going to be sooner than later) you're gonna find yourself at an office party in the back room of one of those disturbingly perky restaurants on the outskirts of town, trapped near the stuffed-shrimp appetizer table talking with Shirley from HR about her kids' gymnastics class, when all of a sudden some genius decides to pop their brand spankin' new copy of TSO's Greatest Hits into the stereo.

What do you do?

Simple - you grab your ankles and die like a Marine.

And when the night is over and you've already broken every single new years resolution you have yet to set for yourself, and you've publicly eaten yourself into early retirement, and (through strategic mistletoe avoidance) managed to only kiss 7 people you didn't even know worked for your company (and will never see again) - then (and only then) will you understand the true meaning of Christmas.

Ben O

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Blogger Beth said...

Thank God I don't see any office parties in my future. Bleak, bleak I say!

1:33 PM  
Blogger Etchen said...

An early Merry Christmas to you!

2:51 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Meinheim Steamroller? Sounds like a really bad German metal band.

And no, never kissed someone I worked with. Even when I was delivering pizza, I knew better than to mingle that way with co-workers. It never works out good because you have to see them after you break up.

1:23 AM  
Blogger Terri said...

I really wish I'd read this post before our Christmas party...

1:30 PM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

OK. My parents took me and my husband to a TSO concert last year. It was...interesting--for lack of a better word.
Merry Christmas, ben. I enjoy seeing pictures from you once in awhile on Flickr.
Ever thought of selling some?
~Sadie Lou

10:31 PM  
Blogger MyUtopia said...

Happy Holidays!

1:30 PM  
Blogger Hale McKay said...

Hey there, Ben. Great post. Thankfully, I've never heard "It Came Upon a MIdnight Clear" by Megadeth. Around here we get a lot of Bob Rivers' carol parodies on the airwaves. --"I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas" -- what the..?

Anyway - Have a Happy New Year.

7:45 PM  
Blogger Kathleen said...

Are you kidding? Megadeth has a version of It Came Upon a Midnight Clear??? I can't decide if I want to hear it or not...

I despise Mannheim Steamroller & The Transiberian Orchestra. That shit makes me want to stick icepicks in my ears.

7:29 AM  
Blogger magnetbabe said...

Honestly, until I read it more closely I always thought they (he/she/whatever) was called "Manhattan Steamroller" and I always pictured a zamboni looking thing driving through the streets of New York. Yes, I'm aware that a zamboni ISN'T a steamroller but in my mind they look about the same.

Thanks for stopping by Field Lines and have a happy new year!

10:43 AM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

You have made the all too common mistake of confusing Manheim Steamroller and Manhattan Transfer.

To this day, no single member of either musical act has ever been caught on film.

Ben O.

1:25 PM  
Blogger LiVEwiRe said...

Wait... so there's really no steamroller? For a minute I was so psyched.

12:06 PM  

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