I Can't Really Complain . . . But I Still Do
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Location: Colorado

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Trick or Treat

And lo in this our season of harvest and spookiness, the ghosts and ghoulies are hiding behind each and every tombstone anxiously waiting for that moment when the moon is the only light to be seen. And isn't it a faint and mysterious light at that?

The Official Procrastination Station "Top Ten Things about Halloween" -

1. It's the one day a year that you can wear your favorite spandex tights and hooded cape and not get called names like "Captain Twinkle-toes" and "Count Schmuckula".

2. The 5th Food Group - Candy Corn.

3. You're relatively safe from Dracula and his minions as long as you remember to smear your entire body in a "lady-pleasing" concoction of minced garlic cloves, overly-ripened wheat germ and warm Twinkie-filling before heading out at night.

4. Who doesn't enjoy cruising the bargain-basement section of eBay for a couple of boxes of .45 calibre silver bullets and some of those flame-retardant, glow-in-the-dark crucifixes?

5. "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!"

6. If the witches' brooms aren't swishing by too loudly and the zombies don't moan too much, you can just make out the distinct cry of the wolf-man off in the distance.

7. With every Autumn leaf that falls, a gargoyle gets its wings.

8. As creepy as Michael Jackson is now, the video for Thriller is still the all-time highpoint of his cinematic scariness. It's the fright-fashizzle.

9. Freddy, Jason and Michael have all retired. Or have they?

10. Not a single slice of left-over turkey or any can-shaped lumps of cranberry sauce within sight.

Ben O.


Blogger Hale McKay said...

Great post, Ben.

LOL @ the 5th food group - candy corn!

7:20 PM  
Blogger Glenn said...

10.5 You can scare the beegeebees out of an eight year old kid and not be labeled "that creepy neighbor across the way."

1:10 AM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Nice stuff -

10.51 Being the "Creepy, scary, not-quite-right" old dude that lives on the corner and always scares people that walk by, is no longer a bad thing.

Ben O.

3:39 PM  

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