I Can't Really Complain . . . But I Still Do
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Location: Colorado

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Ho, Ho, Ho

Dude, what the heckola is up with Blogger? It repeatedly told me that my blog didn't exist last night. I was about to resign myself to a life without the precious little joys of posting to my blog, but fortunately everything is back up and running tonight (much to the fevered disappointment of those sniveling weasels out there who write their frantic "letters to the editor" each and every day trying to get me and those of my ilk removed permanently from the internet. Let me just say once and for all - I know who you are and as soon as my ship comes in, I will hunt you down like the dogs that you are. Procrastination Station has a crack team of hard-nosed private investigators out there right now scouring suburbia for the all of the usual suspects.)

Okay, now that I got that particular tidbit of paranoia off my chest . . .

How is the Christmas Season treating everyone out there? The Procrastination Station Management Team finally got around to distributing our Christmas Bonuses yesterday, and I was pleasantly surprised to discover that they took my request to heart and added a $5 Taco Bell coupon to each six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon handed out this year.

Hey, every little bit counts.

Now I'm certainly no expert, but wouldn't it be much safer for everyone involved if we just put an end to all the shenanigans once and for all and simply outlawed Christmas parties at work in the lower 48 states? The last time I checked, exactly 0 people marked the "I would like to hang out with the weirdos I work with more" box on their yearly Employee Psychological Adjustment Questionnaire.

How can anyone ever forget singing "Grandma Got Runover By a Reindeer" 29 times before someone finally smashed the radio with a stapler. At least the creepy part-time mail-room guy will be there with his special homemade raisin-artichoke tarts. They were such a hit with the kiddies last year.

The problem here, at least as far as I can tell, is that no matter how many CDs of "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" and no matter how much red and green tinsel you throw throw in there, the conference room will always be the same drab, lifeless vortex of melancholy and boredom that it always is . . . completely capable of sucking out little bits of your soul each and every time you go in there . . . and it sure seems like you have to go in there an awful lot.

So, here's wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas as you slave away out there this year.


Ben O.

13 Comments:

Blogger neurotik said...

Hey just randomly blog-hopping and ended up here. 2 summers ago the LCB here stocked up on blue label. I remember because it was the cheapest beer you could buy, beating out the domestic by like 2 bucks. Nasty stuff...

1:58 AM  
Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

Blogger told me I did not have authorization to view my blog. I was yelling but it is mine!!! LOL :)

Christmas season going well so far here.
Now I have a taste for raisin-artichoke tarts.

5:44 AM  
Blogger Terri said...

We have our departmental Christmas dinner this friday but we have to pay for everything ourselves. Stingy b*stards. If I'm gonna spend €50 on dinner, I'd rather be out with my hubby. Bah humbug.

6:37 AM  
Blogger Laurie said...

Pabst Blue Ribbon + Taco Bell = level 4 biohazard gas!

Like your blog, I'll be back.. :-)

6:51 AM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

Hey Ben -
Blogger's got multiple personality disorder. I'm convinced of that. I get those errors all the time.......

No Christmas bonuses at my company. Nope. Nada. Nothing. Niente. I guess they figure the mere fact we're employed is gift enough. hahaha how's that for holiday spirit?? ;)

Merry Merry!

9:56 AM  
Blogger Itinerant Trader said...

Hi Ben,

I just finished clean the spam out of my blog. I didn't know it was possible until I saw your comment a few weeks ago. Thank you for your help. The only non-spam comment I have received in 4 months of blogging is from you.

Now I'm checking your blog to find out how you wound up on mine but I don't see any relation.

Thanks again,

Itinerant

10:31 AM  
Blogger Underachiever said...

Blogger has changed all my fonts. I feel so cheap and used and violated even. But that's a good thing I suppose.

Benny,you my friend, are a humor gen.i.us! hahahaha!

undr(Umm Don't you owe me a Taco Bell coupon from that time we played Strip Old Maid? I'm just asking is all)

ps Pabst Blue RibbOOOON Rules! Right after Schlitz of course.

2:43 PM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

Merry Christmas to you and to you, a Merry Christmas. Blogger is a picky, bipolar little beast. I'm quite upset at it right now but I will never sell out to wordpress or livejournal or that silly MySpace. You better not either. Stay tuned for my holiday movie must see list--I'm gonna post it this weekend for Vote Satuday.

3:23 PM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Neurotik - Thanks for randomly hopping by. Can't beat cheap beer.

Beading Gal - Blogger is a little bit cookie, that's for sure. I can get you the recipe for those tarts if you like.

Terri - That is pretty crappy of them. You can tell them I said so.

Laurie - yep, picture chernobyl only smaller and greener.

Rebecca - If you want I can try and hit the management up for an additional Taco Bell coupon for ya. It ain't much, but it sure beats living in Iowa. (Sorry all those people living in Iowa.)

Trader - I am at a loss. Thanks for stopping by, nonetheless. You are welcome anytime.

Undr - Dude, it was cuss-word scrabble. Get it right or you're gonna have to wear the little red hat again.

Sadie - you know I would never watch a holiday movie without consulting your blog first. I am anxious to see what you say are the must-sees and what is simply grist. Your Halloween movie reviews were very nicely done.

Ben O.

10:23 PM  
Blogger mysterious in blue said...

i want a Christmas bonus! that $5 taco bell coupon comment made me laugh :). i only get a gift from my secret santa and go to our annual Christmas party. i want money! haha!

10:56 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Happened to me too. Don't feel bad.

It's because blogger is having server problems. They have the wrong error code. They're swamped.

Blogger's now owned by Google, so hopefully they'll get revamped with some faster servers. I'm sure they will because I'm sure Blogger is making Google a fat profit.

I don't own any Google shares. If someone out there does, they'll see exactly how much Blogger is making Google in the annual reports. Dang, I wish I had bought Google. :p

1:32 AM  
Blogger Kathleen said...

Heck, I'm just hoping I have a job in 2006, so I'm not in the least bit concerned about the lack of a Christmas bonus.

And we're having our dept. holiday party next week - potluck. I actually like most of the people in my dept. though, so I don't mind.

Best Christmas movie: White Christmas! Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye!!!

12:14 PM  
Blogger tshsmom said...

I'd much rather get a Christmas bonus than a Christmas party! I deeply resent taking time out of my precious family time to spend an evening with people I see all day! Besides, my boss' husband is a drunken jerk and makes the party miserable for everybody, EVERY YEAR!
Our fav Christmas movies are A Christmas Story and Christmas Vacation.

3:56 PM  

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