Kiss My Grits!
Top 5 things I would recommend not saying to the waiter or waitress BEFORE the food has arrived -
1. Yo Numbnuts, can you get anything right?
2. Dude, I think I saw you on the "Movie of the Week" last night on TV . . . it was called "Dumb & Dumber".
3. Hey Hotstuff, why don't you scoot those sexy lil' buns of yours on back in there and russle us up some grub.
4. Hello!?! Earth to waiter-boy . . . I asked for some water about an hour ago.
5. That's strike two. One more and you can wave bye-bye to Mr. Tippy-poo.
Ben O.
1. Yo Numbnuts, can you get anything right?
2. Dude, I think I saw you on the "Movie of the Week" last night on TV . . . it was called "Dumb & Dumber".
3. Hey Hotstuff, why don't you scoot those sexy lil' buns of yours on back in there and russle us up some grub.
4. Hello!?! Earth to waiter-boy . . . I asked for some water about an hour ago.
5. That's strike two. One more and you can wave bye-bye to Mr. Tippy-poo.
Ben O.
posted by Ben O. | 10:20 PM
7 Comments:
Oh no! You can't dangle such perfect examples of conversational lines in front of us like that only to snatch them away in the same breath!
I'm so going to use #3 soon...
Don't forget the gentle tap on the bum accompanied by the "thanks babe, your a doll"
Good advice Ben, as someone whose worked in the foodservice industry, those will all result in your food containing my DNA.
Anne - You go girl . . . #3 is all yours. I would imagine it works even better in French (or in France for that matter.)
McBlogger - Tapping the bum never seems to have the result most men are hoping for, which is actual appreciation.
Nonny - DNA Burgers aren't really my thing, but thanks for asking.
That is so gross . . .
Ben O.
I don't think these would go over too well at home when said to either a wife or a mother.
No wonder my food always sucks.
You are a smart man, Ben. Never dis service staff unless you are SURE they cannot leave their (as nonny said) DNA in your food or drink.
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