I Can't Really Complain . . . But I Still Do
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Location: Colorado

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Kiss My Grits!

Top 5 things I would recommend not saying to the waiter or waitress BEFORE the food has arrived -

1. Yo Numbnuts, can you get anything right?

2. Dude, I think I saw you on the "Movie of the Week" last night on TV . . . it was called "Dumb & Dumber".

3. Hey Hotstuff, why don't you scoot those sexy lil' buns of yours on back in there and russle us up some grub.

4. Hello!?! Earth to waiter-boy . . . I asked for some water about an hour ago.

5. That's strike two. One more and you can wave bye-bye to Mr. Tippy-poo.

Ben O.


Blogger anne said...

Oh no! You can't dangle such perfect examples of conversational lines in front of us like that only to snatch them away in the same breath!
I'm so going to use #3 soon...

11:35 PM  
Blogger mcBlogger said...

Don't forget the gentle tap on the bum accompanied by the "thanks babe, your a doll"

4:25 AM  
Blogger Nonny said...

Good advice Ben, as someone whose worked in the foodservice industry, those will all result in your food containing my DNA.

7:13 AM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Anne - You go girl . . . #3 is all yours. I would imagine it works even better in French (or in France for that matter.)

McBlogger - Tapping the bum never seems to have the result most men are hoping for, which is actual appreciation.

Nonny - DNA Burgers aren't really my thing, but thanks for asking.

That is so gross . . .

Ben O.

10:09 AM  
Blogger Hale McKay said...

I don't think these would go over too well at home when said to either a wife or a mother.

7:30 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

No wonder my food always sucks.

2:15 AM  
Blogger StringMan said...

You are a smart man, Ben. Never dis service staff unless you are SURE they cannot leave their (as nonny said) DNA in your food or drink.

8:54 PM  

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