I Can't Really Complain . . . But I Still Do
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Location: Colorado

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Groundhog Day

Well, Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow this morning. I guess that means we're in for six more weeks of wondering why we devote an entire day to an overgrown rodent and his shadow.

Now I'm no expert on how the sun affects each and every species of vermin differently, but wouldn't it be cooler if we passed the job around? What about Prairie Dog Day? No, that probably wouldn't work due to a prairie dog's inability to remain in one place for longer than 4 and a half seconds. They are also a little too vocal. I'm having visions of a bunch of old dudes in top hats yipping away as little Woonsocket Willie pops his head up, sees a bunch of creepy dudes in tophats and immediately ducks back down into his underground lair never to be seen or heard from again. Do groundhogs even make any sounds? I'm just askin'.

Maybe we could institute a national holiday and call it Weasel Day. Now, before you tell me to step off and leave those furry little wonders of nature alone, I was actually thinking about something entirely different.

Hear me out -

Every year we all gather at the steps of the capitol in D.C. and wait for the weasels to come out to see whether we are in for six more weeks of being told one thing and experiencing another.

Sound good?

I guess we can stick with what we've got. It seems to be working.

Ben O.

BTW - We simply have to come up with a cool hip-hop nickname for that poor groundhog. Something like "P Groundie" or "14 cents" or something. I just feel sorry for the lil' guy going through life with the name Punxsutawney Phil.


Blogger Terri said...

How 'bout "Grog" as a nickname? It certainly rolls off the tongue easier than Punxsutawney Phil. We could then rename it Grog Day - the Irish would no doubt put their own interpretation on that and be very, very 'happy' ;-) Oh wait, there's already a 'grog' day in Ireland - I think the rest of the world calls it St Patricks Day. You know, when you guys have the big parade and the Irish spend the day getting wasted. Of course the only difference on that day is that the Guiness is Green.
(No, not really - that's just what they tell the tourists hehe!)
Er, I'm sorry... what was the question again?

11:49 AM  
Blogger StringMan said...

I thought when he saw his shadow it meant 6 more weeks until the NCAA finals. No? Man, was I misinformed.

We should just call him "Smelly Little Fart". Think?

12:26 PM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Terri - What is the meaning of life?

Is there any other question?

(I asked if there was any other question in the form of a question . . . that is so pandora of me.)

Ben O.

12:28 PM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Terri again - Isn't Guinness the best?

Ben O.

12:29 PM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Strings - you slipped in there, buddy.

I bet he is rather smelly, yes?

Ben O.

3:27 PM  
Blogger Zambo said...

Hey Ben O.

I hope you're doing well.

Not a big fan of groundhog day...(I did like the movie though)...

As for that Frey guy, I was gonna do a lengthy post on him, but decided to scrap it...Apparently someone's trying to sue for $10 Million for time spent reading the book and some other pain and suffering type nonsense. A guy e-mailed Howard Stern to say that he was going to sue publishers of the bible for a lot of money too. I thought that was kinda funny...

Anyway, that's all I've got for now.

Take care!

Your Pal,


8:52 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

So winter is over? Bikinis soon?

8:59 PM  
Blogger :P fuzzbox said...

How about 'Grand Master Punksy P'? I think it has a nice ring to it.

9:03 PM  
Blogger Underachiever said...


How about...

G-Round 2 da hizzle

Groundy-Ground the Funky Hog

Ground Hoggy-Hog

Or as Richard Gere calls him; "My favorite Gerbil."


10:56 PM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

My kids love groundhog day. The report back to me as if it was breaking news," Did you hear mom?"
"The groundhog saw his shadow."
"ooooooh, right. Thanks."

9:55 AM  
Blogger Lugh said...

The morning show I listen to every day cut to the man in charge of the whole groundhog day thing. It was full of horribly used adjectives, overbearing flowery language, and the use of the phrase "O seer of seers."

Someone should have shot that guy and skinned the groundhog and saved a wordsmith like myself unnecessary pain and anguish.

2:25 PM  
Blogger Lingo Slinger said...

sooooooo 6 weeks until us kooky canadians are wearing shorts tank tops and hangin' out on patios drinking beer? i'm actually thinkin' about doing that now.

4:11 PM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Zambo - so good to hear from ya again, thanks - I AM doing well.

I totally love the movie Groundhog Day. I have actually read some very interestig commentary about it and how many days he might have lived through. Could it have been in the thousands? Think about it . . .

Zombieslayer - I am having strange visions of undead bikini clad entities. This is not right.

Fuzz - that is rich. I want him to have a name and then a year later anounce to everyone that he is dropping a letter and will no longer be called G hog . . . now it is just hog, thank you.

Undr - As we all know, Mr. Gere has more than one favorite gerbil.

Sadie - that's pretty funny. I think I did that to my parents . . . isn't life such a big wheel?

Lugh - good to hear from you . . . you are just in time as this is "Wordsmith Week" here in the Procrastination Station Comments Area.

Ben O.l

4:12 PM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Lugh - I just surfed over to your blog . . . very funny look at world political structure by way of Old McDonald and his cows.

Nice - Ben O.

4:14 PM  
Blogger Latin's Lady said...

Video slots on the web has a fan club of there own, people just can’t get enough. Even when news slots are launched by the different software developers they get a standing ovation and are attacked with an intensity of a wolf mother protecting her cubs. It is like the New Years sale in Bond street where the entire population of crazy housewife’s fight over every garment and will draw blood if need be.

Lucky us the since the slots are online there is no such thing as a queue and you can play when you want. You don’t even have to get dressed.

Not that this has any relevance to who plays slots and who don’t. There is clearly according to the latest polls more women playing slots then men. Men seem to drift towards the poker and table games. But here is something us men have to watch out for, they are coming. And they are also coming in swarms.

And since we men can not do more then one thing at a time (at least that is what the women say) we are in trouble. Take Blackjack, they should be better at handling two and three hands then us. Texas Hold’em is up for grabs because of the pace and many factors in the game. So when you are playing against a women you might want to hold on to your chips (and maybe your hart as well) she could end up owning both of them. Women know we are simple beings, and do have this factor over us when playing face to face. All men are suckers to a nice smile, so in all fairness any poker game that has both men and women in it should be played online.

At least you will not be distracted by that nice perfume drifting in from the women next to you. It is so faint but a man has certain instincts and will try to get a good sniff. So leaning in (ever so careful) I still get booted from a game for trying to look at other peoples cards. And I had a straight lined up. Even the big smile I got from the women next to me did not really soften the blow of getting booted. At least the dealer understood me and just told me to take a break for a while. That is my 2 cents worth on the topic of women and gambling.

Signing off for now and heading towards the slots, someone told me there is a good chance of meeting women there. At least that is what they tell me on http://www.streetslots.com

2:08 PM  

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