I Can't Really Complain . . . But I Still Do
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Location: Colorado

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

And The Award is Awarded To . . .

So I'm watching my old-fashioned, non-tivo-having, low definition TV and in-between all of the commercials for the newest and greatest cell phones starring Peyton Manning and that ultra-annoying "can you hear me now?" doofus, I'm pretty sure I witnessed the most elusive and rare occurrence in the entertainment world . . . a solid hour where nobody gave anyone any awards.

Somewhere up in the Pacific Northwest, Sasquatch is reading this and just got his feelings hurt because he's no longer the rarest sight to be seen.

Anyway, in typical PS fashion, we don't just report the news . . . we live it!

So, I've decided to have my very own awards show.

Now, I'm no dummy. I know this has been tried many, many times already across the internet to far less impressive fanfare. Inferior bloggers than I (is that even possible?) have attempted and failed miserably at achieving recognizably sustainable humor because their skills were not finely honed enough. And, they didn't pay the gallery adequately to get them to laugh.

So, without further prolonged ado . . .

I give you the First Annual Procrastination Station "Look at Me, I'm Famous!" Awards show.

Here's how this is going to work. (And it WILL work . . .) Instead of Feedback Friday for the next week or so, We need all the input we can get from any and all readers on possible categories and worthy souls. Keep in mind this is fun-time (it ain't real, people), so try and avoid such obvious notions as "Best Picture", "Best Album" and "Best Performance in a Gap Commercial".

In true, Britney Agui-lohan fashion, we're eliminating any and all distinctions between TV, Film (that's movies to us ordinary folk) and Music. Anyone who wants to be famous and pretend they are a serious actor, can be. That's how our lil' awards show is gonna play out, Dog. Incidentally (in true real-word fashion), we're also eliminating any and all distinctions between quality and putrified crapola, in case you were wondering what that gosh-awful smell was.

So, let us not keep the gliterati waiting too long. They won't know what to do with themselves if we're not fawning zombie-like over them for a whole week.

Bust out that Dolce & Gabana swan dress Bjork, 'cause it's party time!

Ben O.


Anonymous rollin said...

Ok, here's one to get in the mood:

Best Job at Biting the Hand that Feeds You and Alienating Yourself from Future Employment:

Peter Jackson, for his relationship with New Line Cinemas.

(Not that I have any idea which side is right, but suing a studio and causing them to swear you will never direct for them again is... unfortunate.)

7:13 PM  
Blogger Ben O. said...


How about "Most enthusiastic attempt at pretending to wear panties"?

Now that's some serious acting.

Ben O.

12:11 AM  
Anonymous rollin said...

The award for "I'm not a Tax Professional but I play one on TV" goes to whoever Wesley Snipes had doing his taxes...

8:56 AM  
Blogger MyUtopia said...

Can I have the goof off award?

1:05 PM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Only if you are truly deserving and are deemed the ultimate goof offer by your peers and the academy.

I don't think you have anything to worry about.

Ben O.

1:21 PM  
Anonymous mark said...

How bout, "the shot heard round the world"... and the winner is
- Dick Cheney

9:12 AM  
Blogger Kathleen said...

How about "Let's Bring Feedback Friday" Award?

10:07 AM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Never Fear Kathleen, It's so coming back.

The team here at PS headquarters has certainly been slacking lately in that department, but I can assure you of this . . .

Our most popular feature, Feedback Friday is not going anywhere in the near future. Now I just have to get to work on some ideas.

Ben O.

7:50 AM  
Blogger eda said...




12:39 AM  

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