Over the River and Through the Woods . . .
Top 10 Things to Remember During the Holiday Travel Season -
1. Your bag is never going to fit in that tiny overhead compartment, so stop trying to cram it in. You're just going to have to choose between packing a change of underwear or bringing the new edition of "Coin Collector Monthly" . . . it's that simple.
2. No matter how hungry you get, don't eat any corn-dog crust or french fries found under the car-seat. It just makes sense - You don't know whether they fell down there an hour ago or last Thanksgiving.
3. There is absolutely no danger of catching a cold on an airplane . . . unless you breathe.
4. Call ahead and make sure that the in-flight movie isn't "Snakes on a Plane".
5. There's no such thing as a "quick" bathroom stop.
6. The Swedish Institute of Technology recently conducted a study on time travel, and to absolutely no one's surprise, they discovered that time actually slows down when experienced in a minivan.
7. Apparently, the shortest distance between two points involves a 3 hour lay-over in Minneapolis.
8. The only thing harder than waking up at 3:45 in order to get to the airport the required 4 and 1/2 hours before your flight is trying to remove catchup and drool stains from your new Mercedes M-Class armrest.
9. Hearing the words "Are we there yet?" 4,982 times in one hour has been scientifically linked to premature aging. Look it up.
10. Never, ever attempt to take a can of cranberry sauce through customs. It's just bad form. And besides, have you ever seen the fallout from one of those "home-cooked" cranberry sauce bombs? It ain't a pretty sight.
(This has been a public service of Procrastination station)
The Management
1. Your bag is never going to fit in that tiny overhead compartment, so stop trying to cram it in. You're just going to have to choose between packing a change of underwear or bringing the new edition of "Coin Collector Monthly" . . . it's that simple.
2. No matter how hungry you get, don't eat any corn-dog crust or french fries found under the car-seat. It just makes sense - You don't know whether they fell down there an hour ago or last Thanksgiving.
3. There is absolutely no danger of catching a cold on an airplane . . . unless you breathe.
4. Call ahead and make sure that the in-flight movie isn't "Snakes on a Plane".
5. There's no such thing as a "quick" bathroom stop.
6. The Swedish Institute of Technology recently conducted a study on time travel, and to absolutely no one's surprise, they discovered that time actually slows down when experienced in a minivan.
7. Apparently, the shortest distance between two points involves a 3 hour lay-over in Minneapolis.
8. The only thing harder than waking up at 3:45 in order to get to the airport the required 4 and 1/2 hours before your flight is trying to remove catchup and drool stains from your new Mercedes M-Class armrest.
9. Hearing the words "Are we there yet?" 4,982 times in one hour has been scientifically linked to premature aging. Look it up.
10. Never, ever attempt to take a can of cranberry sauce through customs. It's just bad form. And besides, have you ever seen the fallout from one of those "home-cooked" cranberry sauce bombs? It ain't a pretty sight.
(This has been a public service of Procrastination station)
The Management
posted by Ben O. | 1:13 PM
6 Comments:
#9. Guilty as charged. And not only with my parents. My friends too. I'm jealous of their youthful good looks.
Good post, Ben. I agree with you when it comes to old french fries and corn-dog crumbs, but isn't a Tootsie Roll Pop found under the seat okay?
I'm just glad I'm staying home for the holidays!
Hey Ben.
Luckily our Thanksgiving was last month! But good things to keep in mind when travelling in general...
Take care out there!
Your Pal,
Zambo.
Oh, you could go on for ages with these! And isn't that true about Minneapolis - even if you are going from NYC to Miami... odd.
Try not to fly NorthWorst - that'll take care of that 3-hour layover at MSP.
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