I Can't Really Complain . . . But I Still Do
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Thursday, February 09, 2006

Kanye West Hates Blue Grass Singers

Okay all you blog-happy, music-lovers out there . . . in honor of this year's Grammy Awards broadcast (way to go U2!), the higher-ups here at Procrastination Station have decided to hold our very own lil' music award party.

Here's how it's gonna work . . .

First of all, I get to pick the winners. There ain't no independent accounting firms of Deloite & Touche or anybody else hiding behind the curtains here, okay. It's just me, Evil Twin Biff and the on-again-off-again receptionist with the dramatically lilac hairdo that is capable of receiving AM radio deciding who's in and who's out. If that is somehow a source of discomfort for anyone, I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is.

Secondly, I do not have a category for "Best Collaborative Effort Mixing Spoken Haiku, Pan Flute Quartet and Foreign Language Children's Choir". I tried it last year and the janitorial crew here at the Station (bless their hearts) were cleaning up for weeks. How the heck was I to know that tomato juice would stain a shag-polar bear and velveteen parka.

Okay, without further unnecessary fanfare - I give you the first and last ever Procrastination Station Music Awards (the name Grammy's is apparently vehemently protected as a trademarked entity.)

And the winners are . . .

Coolest Song Ever - "Shine on You Crazy Diamond" by Pink Floyd

Sweetest Guitar Riff in a Pop Rock or Hard Rock Song - "Back in Black" by AC~DC

Creepiest Performer Who Was Actually Good Once - Michael Jackson (Hands Down!)

Song That Everyone Hates But Can't Stop Humming When They Are Alone in The Car - "Thong Song" by the thong song dude

and the one you've all been waiting for . . .

Artist or Group Who Somehow Keeps on Rocking Even Though Everyone (Including their publicist) Keeps Forgetting Their Still Alive - The Rolling Stones

(Cue the annoying "You've talked way too long and the show is only supposed to be 7 hours long so shut the freak up already" music)

Thanks for coming. Please drive safely and have a wonderful night.


Ben O.

18 Comments:

Blogger anne said...

Nothing by The Monkees???

2:45 AM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Uh . . . no.

Sorry.

Ben O.

Seriously, I would have some Monkees on there but I'm pretty sure they stopped making music about 20 years ago.

Do you remember that other wacky musical group called the Banana-Splits? That show was strange.

Ben O.

3:18 AM  
Blogger FredCQ said...

Were the Grammys last night? The Grammys are the friggin worst. If I had known they were on, I would have posted something at my site about how lame they are.

What a joke.

I like your catagories better.

7:00 AM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Fred - Yep, ever since Metallica was beaten out for Best Hard Rock by a band that I can't even remember the name of with some dude who plays flute for cryin' out loud . . . the Grammys have certainly been suspect at best.

Ben O.

9:41 AM  
Blogger Shannon said...

Sorry.. but I am smiling... Kelly won.. teeeheee.. I do love pink floyd thou.. but remember the age difference.. I am only 27.. I love all different types of music.. not a big fan of kanye or however you spell it.. like I care?? LOL

10:38 AM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

I felt sorry for the bands that had to compete with U2. Coldplay is an awesome band but I have to admit, pales in comparison.
I thought Kelly Clarkson sounded great live. I'm not a big fan of hers--her radio hits are pretty catchy; nothing I'd rush out and buy though.
I'm sorry fans of Kanye West, but the guy is just so lame. You could almost hear the audience's eyes rolling when he brought out his "Thank You Speech".
I didn't know Gwen was preggers! She forgot to call me I guess.

*sigh*
I just talked about the 45 minutes I watched and made it sound like I watched the whole thing, huh?

heh heh

I like your version of the Grammys much better. Cept' the Rolling Stones and U2 shouldn't charge people to watch their concerts anymore--they enough money.

11:56 AM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Shannon - I'm only 32. I have been into the Floyd since I was a way young whipper snapper. Give them a try, they accept all ages.

Sadie - I don't want to upset anyone with this, but I just think Kanye wants it too much. I have never seen some go from obscure to flavor of the month so fast simply by saying something controversial. With that said, I actually liked their "Battle of the Bands" routine. Pretty imaginative. I just don't like his music, I guess.

Did you ever get the Power Ballads Collection CD?

Ben O.

12:12 PM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

You're right Ben, West oozes that attitude of "the world owes me a livin'
but anyhoodles...

...I haven't gotten that cd yet but my friend Eric admitted he ownes that "Smooth R&B" cd I also want so he offered to burn it for me.
Have you seen that one?
It's got all those "make out like a hip hop gangsta" songs on it.

1:09 PM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Yep Sadie, I have that one laying right here next to my Zamfir Master of the Pan Flute albums.

I want to hear about the Power Ballads . . .

Ben O.

1:18 PM  
Blogger Terri said...

I have a Power Ballads CD. That's all I have to say on that subject.

Pink Floyd are awesome indeed, and yes it is hard to find a band that can compete on U2's level.

1:19 PM  
Blogger Laurie said...

Whoohoo U2! That CD is the BEST!

Gwen looked glowing and gorgeous, too :-)

2:55 PM  
Blogger FredCQ said...

That would be Jethro Tull.

Kanye West said that he would have a "big problem" if he didn't win album of the year. Ooooooo we are all shaking.

Shannon: Normally, I don't care for the kind of music like Kelly Clarkson plays but I have to give her credit for not being part of that lip-synching crew. I saw her live on some show and thought that she kicked ass.

4:11 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Love Floyd, but my fav Floyd song is probably Echoes.

The Stones were awesome at the Super Bowl. At least that much of it didn't suck.

The Thong song? I only heard it once, so not enough memory of it to hum it. I'm very glad for that. may I suggest I'm too sexy as a runner-up in that category?

1:43 PM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

ZS--
I thought the Stones were tired and out of breath at the Super Bowl. It liked somebody propped ol' Richards up on the stage like a scarecrow and then tethered the guitar to his feeble hands...
...they need to fade away gracefully--never to return.

4:40 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

Fred~ Thanks.. I agree... she puts her all into every performance.. I guess that is why she won on Idol =)

10:39 AM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

Hey Ben, I heard Kanye West said he should be in the Bible or something? Have you heard this one?

3:56 PM  
Blogger StringMan said...

Um, Kanye, the Bible was closed off for contributions some 1000 years ago. Try the Koran. They're looking for a few good men.

Stones at the Super Bowl was just bad. I mean, I give them credit for being relatively un-geezer like, but except for Ron Wood, everyone looked tired.

6:39 PM  
Blogger Kathleen said...

Thankfully I have no clue what the Thong Song is...

And I only watched the Grammys once - the first year of Sheryl Crow and when she won everything in sight over women who have talent and can sing I knew I was never going to waste my time again.

8:57 AM  

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