I Can't Really Complain . . . But I Still Do
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Monday, November 14, 2005

Dooces Wild

Okay, here's one for ya . . .

You know that feeling you get when you're standing in line at the local grocery store behind 27 people who all have their checkbooks and their ruffled up, unreadable coupons already laying on top of their way-too-full carts and all of a sudden, as the assistant manager comes over to perform yet another price-check on Winnie-the-Pooh toilet paper, your mind just gives up and starts to leave your body, floating out into space as if frantically searching for a way out?

Well, this post isn't about that.

Instead I want to discuss a new word I discovered while surfing the ole' internet the other day - Doocing. For those out there who have never heard of it (and I was among you until recently), this is essentially the art of getting fired because of something you decided to put in your blog. Hello? I guess these lil' online journals of ours are starting to cowboy up and venture precariously out of the living room, making their way over to the wild side, if you know what I mean? (How the heck could you . . . I don't even know what I mean.)

Now I'm certainly no expert, but maybe it wasn't such a primo idea to include your mailing address, phone number, social security number, ATM pin number, blood type and favorite color when you posted that list of 1001 reasons why you hate your boss and his wife and their kids and their pet hamster and the earth and the sky and the universe. I just have one word for you, Wonder-Chimp . . . anonymity. Or was it proximity? No wait, I think it was senility.

Nevermind.

The point here (and I'm pretty sure that there might actually be one) is that the instant you press that "publish blog entry" button, all those looney thoughts that once resided safely within the comfy confines of that cracked peanut you bewilderingly call a brain are suddenly dancing around on the screen in front of every single person on the face of the planet. It's true - look it up.

It's gotta be one of Murphy's Laws that the first time the CEO of your company (who barely even knows your name) ever logs on to a blog in his life is the day you finally decide to fly off the handle and write up a blogpost containing all those dirty company secrets as well as a detailed blueprint to where the hidden money is located.

Who would have thought that the secret recipe for Coca-Cola included eggplant extract?

I'm not entirely sure what all this means, except to say that the ride is certainly worth taking . . . just wear a freakin' helmut, people. Is helmut hair really so terrible?


Ben O.

20 Comments:

Blogger trinamick said...

Yeah, I've tried to be careful about some of the things I put on my blog. There's a very small chance anyone I know would read it, but you never can tell. I'd hate to get Dooced for making fun of the idiot New Girl. Then she'd get my job!

1:43 PM  
Blogger The Zombie Lama said...

That's why I don't talk about certain things. Just in case.

1:50 PM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Trinamick - good point . . . I love reading all about your many adventures, but it never seems to cross any of those unseen-but-certainly-there lines. I say keep it up.

Zombie Lama - It would stink royally to have the an entire horde of undead creatures chasing after you . . . wait, that sounds like a move I rented recently.

Ben O.

1:58 PM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

Great post and actually, words to blog by. I think people who blog at work are treading a thin line anyways that if the blog contains stuff ABOUT work as well--hmmmm...it's grounds for slap on the wrist. I think firing someone is a little harsh unless of course your Trina and New Girl could make a case for feeling "threatened" by Trina's mention of killing her in several different methods per day.
*wink*

3:41 PM  
Blogger KayseaLove said...

I love the thrill of blogging on the edge of being fired. By the way, my companys blueprints to the hidden money can be found: HERE!

3:46 PM  
Blogger Nonny said...

Sage advice Benny, your always looking out for our best interests. I don't blog at work (often) and I would never let anyone I work with even know I had a blog. Of course I work with idiots who don't even know what blogs are so the chance of anyone finding out about mine is slim to none. Just keep playing spider solitaire my fellow co-workers :)

5:09 PM  
Blogger James O'Connor said...

Yeah, it's the thrill of being caught I think for some that walk the wire without a net.

7:57 PM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Sadie - Yep it does seem a tad harsh, but the world is overflowing with idiots and I can all but guarantee that as I type this, there are dudes all over the place posting on their blogs things they probably shouldn't about work.

Kay - I am so stealing all the gold, babe. Prepare to get fired for spilling the beans.

Nonny - we are always looking out for the peeps. Actually I ran across that article and thought it made for good material. I actually think the word Doocing is interesting in and of itself.

James - The next thing you know there will be something called "Extreme Blogging". I shudder to think.

Ben O.

11:36 PM  
Blogger Lingo Slinger said...

I'm waiting to be dooced, it would be an honour, like some benchmark of achievement for me!! I'm sure it will happen eventually, I just have to be patient.

I am a writer... maybe not a very good one, but a writer none the less! I never filter anything for anyone.

Having said that though... I don't think i'd be forwarding my blog link to the prez of my company!

9:02 AM  
Blogger Terri said...

I know exactly what you mean about standing in a grocery line behind... oh wait, the post wasn't about that ( you tease! )
Anonymity is definitely the name of the game. Of course posting one's wedding pictures etc on one's blog kind of contradicts that point, hehe.
Now you know that, being as diligent as I are, I'm going to go back and re-read all my posts just to be sure there's nothing in them I could get canned over :-)

12:31 PM  
Blogger trinamick said...

Sadie, she'd probably say I created a hostile work environment, sue me, and she and her pervert would live in style forever!

1:42 PM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

Sadie, she'd probably say I created a hostile work environment, sue me, and she and her pervert would live in style forever!

I'd put nothing past your co-workers, Trina. It wouldn't surprise me to visit your blog and learn that you've been kidnapped by a "wonky-eyed beast".

1:48 PM  
Blogger JAX said...

my original intent was to vent about people but then i got paranoid and chickened out! Now I just blog about like my hair and stuff and people actually read! And comment!

2:30 PM  
Blogger NYPinTA said...

My job is too boring to blog about.
Lucky me.

3:47 PM  
Anonymous Jim Donahue said...

Does Helmut Kohl really have such bad hair?

8:25 AM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Lingo - You're such a blog-rebel.

Terri - In all seriuosness, I think there is a happy medium between building a wall and hiding from the world (I mean you have to have a "I want people to read what I write" personality in the first place or you wouldn't even be doing this . . . right?) and totally giving out your pin number and directions to where your children sleep at night.

Trin & Sadie - try to play together like all the other kiddos, please.

Jags - I have found that what I thought it would be and what it is becoming are actually more like close relatives than twin brothers. It's fun, though . . . that's for sure.

Nypinta - You are truly one of the lucky ones.

Jim - Yes. Yes he does. (I don't know why I am saying it, I just want to . . . and it is my blog after all, right?)

Ben O.

11:34 AM  
Blogger Kathleen said...

Early on I bitched a bit about not my job but some of the people with whom I had to deal. I stopped doing that after reading about people who had lost their jobs. Scary stuff in this economy (which sucks complete rocks here in Michigan).

12:04 PM  
Blogger johnie1 said...

hey if postmen didn't blog the consequences could be disastrous (:

6:28 PM  
Blogger Marel Lecone said...

Now, have you gone to http://www.dooce.com/about.html to see where it all started. She is an absolute riot--she even tells how it all got started and how it became dooced. It's a great blog.

As for me, I don't want the wrong people reading my stuff but, mine is pretty safe, I think. :)

But, with anything, we should be careful sometimes. Take care. :)

10:37 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

One word - anonymity. I'm not sure if I spelled that correctly, but there's no way I'm getting Dooced for blogging. No one at my work knows I even blog and I don't blog from work.

Excellent advice though. I hope someone heeds it.

11:32 PM  

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