I Can't Really Complain . . . But I Still Do
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Location: Colorado

Monday, November 07, 2005

Adventures In Discount Podcasting

Okay, here's one for ya . . .

I can't tell you how many letters we receive here at PS Central Headquarters. I've actually had to stop going down to the mailroom for fear of getting trapped in one of the frequent avalanches of paper. To a one, it seems that every single letter (except that one we got last week from "The Naked Scrabble Players Association") always wants to know the same thing -

When are we going to introduce something new and exciting to the blog?

Let me assure all three of you that the management here at Procrastination Station has absolutely no life due to our seemingly constant combing through any and all available research and our all but never-ending scanning of the Internet for the most up-to-date and groundbreaking technology that we can possibly deliver. Trust me . . . Bill Gates gets out more than we do the week before Microsoft launches their newest version of Windows.

Now I'm certainly no expert on the coolest, hippest new technology out there bouncing expensively from one suburban living room to the next, but much like that often-quoted Supreme Court Justice once said, "I know it when I see it." And people, mine eyes have seen the glory - or more to the point . . . mine ears have heard the . . . um . . . glory.

I'm talking about podcasting of course.

For those who aren't quite up to speed on the latest and greatest, from what I can tell, this is really nothing more than a digital audio file that can be downloaded and played on one's iPod (or any other MP3 playing device. Sorry Mom, I'm afraid that you're beloved 8-track player is decidedly "not podcast ready"). The beauty of the podcast is that it finally frees us from having to read the day's dose of meaningless drivle ourselves, now we can go out into the world and have someone else read it to us.

Hot Dang!

Now - here's the best part. You're going to have the opportunity to participate in what might be the most exciting online experiment in recent history. Today is not only the day after yesterday anymore . . . today could quite possibly be the first day of the rest of your life. I know that might seem profound, but these breakthroughs don't just come along every minute.
(Just ask Steve Jobs - it's more like every two or three hours.)

Okay, enough talk . . . let's get the First Official Procrastination Station Podcast started -


1. Try to stop laughing.

2. Set your iPod (or other podcast-ready device) out on the desk near your computer.

3. Read the text out loud (If you are a female, it helps if you try and lower your voice a little).

4. (See #1)

Thanks for participating. Year's from now we will all look back on this day with fondness at the marvelous new technology it helped usher into our lives.

Ben O.


Blogger Terri said...

I'll be back later - gotta go look up 'podcast-ready' on google...

2:30 PM  
Blogger Wandering Coyote said...

Oh, should I rush out and get myself an iPod???

I don't feel cool!

6:01 PM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Terri - I am curious to hear what you find.

Coyote - I would never lay the peer pressure on ya to get an iPod. They are pretty darn cool though . . . no?

Ben O.

12:36 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Trust me . . . Bill Gates gets out more than we do the week before Microsoft launches their newest version of Windows.

Uh oh. That's pretty bad.

By the way, I still need to buy an iPod. :(

1:54 AM  
Blogger DelBoy said...

You're nuts!

And I'm iPod-less. I still prefer my old Sony minidisc player.

6:10 AM  
Blogger Nonny said...

Ok, it seems you may be the only one of us who has an Ipod. I think the people over at PS should hook us all up with one so that we can participate :)

6:53 AM  
Blogger Henry said...

No i-pod here either.

I put my auto reverse sony walkman next to the computer and attempted the podcast----IT WORKED it was amazing.
I feel like I'm a part of history.

Thanks Ben

7:05 AM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

My husband takes the iPod with him to work. Shucks. Our iPod's name is iPodio (i-poe-dee-oh). I'll see if he'll leave it with me sometime.

7:54 AM  
Blogger trinamick said...

No iPod here sadly. But I'm sure it would have been amazing.

9:52 AM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Wow - I must have the only iPod-less blog reading audience in known existence.

To be sure, I only recently broke down and got one. They are really cool, but pretty expensive and irritatingly scratch prone. The music sounds great, though.

Zombster - I know. When your personal life is sadder than a known celebrity no-lifer, it really starts to make you wonder what the heck is going on.

Del - yep, totally and completely nutso. Thanks for reminding me.

Nonny - I spoke to the higher ups at PS Management and guess what . . . they agreed. Here's what you do - Print out the picture on the blog and then cut it out. Then you are totally ready to follow steps 1-4 as explained in the afore-mentioned post. Have fun!

Henry - I applaud you, brother. Years (okay, maybe minutes) from now you will look back on this day and feel like you were truly a part of something monumental. Thanks for participating.

Sadie - You know what they say about people who name their toys. I don't either, but I do like the name Ipodio. It sort of has a Beavis Cornholio sort of vibe to it. You need one of those accessories that makes your ipod into a little white rubberiezed figurine. I'm gonna stop now.

Trin - You don't know what you missed. It was unbelievable. I'll send you a postcard . . . if I remember.

Ben O.

10:19 AM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Sadie - I tracked down that iGuy thing I was telling you about . . .


There is even a blog that chronicles his adventures -


Okay, I admit that it's a lil' creepy . . .

Ben o.

11:05 AM  
Blogger jenbeauty said...

HA...I am not tech at all. I will not be following along Ben O.!!!

1:05 PM  
Blogger Sadie Lou said...

Sadie - You know what they say about people who name their toys. I don't either, but I do like the name Ipodio. It sort of has a Beavis Cornholio sort of vibe to it. You need one of those accessories that makes your ipod into a little white rubberiezed figurine. I'm gonna stop now.

I don't know what they say about people that name their toys. Is it bad?
Cornholio! I remember that. MTV has been showing Beavis and Butthead cartoons lately.
I still watch King of the Hill.
What do they say about adults that watch a lot of cartoons?

2:50 PM  
Blogger The Zombie Lama said...

Hmm... my ipod must be broken. I read the text 3 times and don't feel any more advanced... technologically speaking that is...

3:13 PM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Jenbeauty - you are so independent. I am envious of how you refuse to fit the mold.

Sadie - I'm no expert (as everyone knows by now) but I'm pretty sure they have a special wing in the looneybin for those of us who have passed the cut-off point for adulthood and yet still watch cartoons. Futurama is awesome. I like Beavis and Butthead too . . . I love the voices. So funny.

Dude - I forgot to include the caveat that the podcast won't work for zombies. I think it has something to do with our wiring or maybe the orientation of our satellite dish. (yea . . . like we have a satellite dish.)

Ben O.

3:36 PM  
Blogger Wandering Coyote said...

Ok, so I'm not the only iPodless one out there.

I'm waiting for them to come down in price, then I'll bite.

5:06 PM  
Blogger arkie said...

I am iPod-less, also.

8:09 PM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

We need a freakin' support group . . . and that's no laughing matter.

(Then why am I still laughing?)

Ben O.

9:17 PM  
Blogger The Zombie Lama said...

Whew! I thought it was our dead brains!
Stupid satellites....

10:00 PM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Nope - the dead brain thing is merely what repels the living. It has no bearing whatsoever on the functionality of your personal music device.

Glad to be of service.

Ben O.

10:20 PM  
Blogger Teri said...

Ain't new technology great?

I don't have an iPod either - I do have iTunes, though.

7:47 AM  
Blogger Terri said...

haha, the first link I clicked from my google search came up with "Error 404 - Not Found"
A few clicks later I got bored and am still none the wiser.
For the first time, google has failed me... although to be fair if I'd bothered to keep clicking I'm sure I would've found enlightenment.
So, google is still my friend :-)

11:36 AM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Terri - you and Google need to get a room. Seriuosly, that is strange . . . Google has become a monster that needs to be fed each and every day. I personally love it.

Teri - This is getting a tad confusing with all the Zombies and Terri (Teri)s . . . Everyone is welcome, it just might get a little tight in here. Please wear deodorant. I actually like iTunes - how about you?

Ben O.

11:44 AM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Hey Terri (and anyone else interested) -

The word Podcast was recently added to the Oxford English Dictionary. Don't believe me? Check this out -


Ben O.

2:12 PM  
Blogger Kathleen said...

I know I'm late but I was on vacation in another country...for the record, I too am iPod-less. I feel better knowing that I am not the only person out there...

10:38 AM  

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