I Can't Really Complain . . . But I Still Do
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Location: Colorado

Monday, June 09, 2008

Feedback Monday (#76)

Okay, a few weeks back I told you about the strange disappearance of Evil Twin Biff. Well, here we are today and he still hasn't been heard from. His desk remains as unusually clean as the day we discovered he had a desk. His parking spot has, for the past month, been inhabited by this strange little man with a hot dog and gyro stand. And, even though we figured it for a longshot, he has yet to return to his favorite new restaurant, that new Star Wars themed Asian restaurant that he loves so much - "Padmei Thai".

It's like he just vanished. Walked out into the cornfields never to be seen or heard from again.

Until that is, this morning . . .

I have in my hot little hand a veritable beacon of hope amidst the bleak and desperate vortex of insanity revolving around Evil Twin Biff's inexplicable disappearance.

It's a note.

From Biff.

Written in what appears to be either chocolate fudge or something infinitely less exciting than chocolate fudge. I know the anticipation is palpable, so I won't prolong the agony any further.

Here's what it says -

"Gone Walkabout. Took the laptop and the petty cash. Guess where I am. No, really - Guess."

It goes on to say -

"It'll be fun. Everyone loves a riddle. A puzzle. And this will be the biggest mystery to hit the internet since the confounding popularity of Facebook.

So, with that I bid you farewell. At least until somebody guesses where I am.

Forever Yours - Biff

P.S. I had nothing to do with that unfortunate "Little Bo Peep" incident in Wichita that the news has begun reporting about. Honest, I wasn't even in Kansas."

So, the rest of this post is merely academic.

Today's assignment is as straight forward as they come.

Guess where Evil Twin Biff is. It's that simple. Together we can find him . . . I believe it in my heart of hearts.

Thanks for all your help -

Ben O. (on behalf of the Management)

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Blogger Tink said...

Will he answer our guesses with "hot!" or "cold!"?

12:39 PM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

who knows. I'm hoping so, or else this is going to be a pretty lame exercise.

Ben O.

2:34 PM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

I'll get this started -

Biff, are you at The Mall of America?

Ben O.

2:37 PM  
Blogger LiVEwiRe said...

He CLAIMS he wasn't in Kansas but you should check to see if any little dogs answering to 'Toto' have gone missing. Or is he waiting in line for a new iPhone?

8:07 PM  
Blogger LL said...

Damn Ben... were you really that bored as to venture to the End of the World? I see Tink has been having a bad influence on you...

I think Biff is in Albe... Albeque... Albuqeurq... erm... New Mexico.

9:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello everyone!

This is Biff.

I'm not in Abequ . . . Abeque . . . Albecher . . . New Mexico.

In fact, I'm not anywhere "New".

Evil Twin Biff

7:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can tell you that my location rhymes with a city in Texas, but it ain't in Texas. That cuts off about a third of the country right there . . . that should help out some.

Evil Twin Biff

7:23 AM  
Blogger Glenn said...

Hershey Pennsylvania

1:56 PM  
Blogger Kel said...

Hershey? Well, that would make sense since he wrote in chocolate, Glenn.

I was going to guess Guam, but I like Glenn's guess better.

8:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are all getting much closer. Much closer, indeed.

To be perfectly honest, I did stop in at Hershey. Ate a few candy bars and rode some rides. It smells good there.

But, alas. I moved on.

Think farther East.

Evil Twin Biff

7:18 AM  
Blogger Glenn said...

Amsterdam? (Dutch chocolate)

7:48 AM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Is that really a restaurant? Padmei Thai? I haven't been through Colorado since the 80s, but I'm stopping there if I come around there again. That sounds almost worthy of a road trip.

Where's Biff? Close your eyes and imagine a place you'd never want to go. You'll find him there.

1:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure I saw Biff passed out in a gutter outside a street brothel in Changmai on Sunday, then on Tuesday I saw someone in Singapore on a tram, I said are you Biff, he said yes I am.

4:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Biff is in Boston. I saw him. And he was naked. N-A-K-E-D naked. Damn that boy can run fast.

7:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Strangely enough, you are both right. Dang those PS readers are intuitive . . . intuitive I tell ya!

I was in Changmai only a few days ago, but I caught the red-eye back to Boston, where I've been holed up in a Circuit City watching European Soccer for the past few weeks. Bloody good sport. I'm not sure why they don't just grap the ball, however.

Evil Twin Biff

6:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Speaking of grabbing the ball . . . I would love to explain that whole N-A-K-E-D thing, but I'm pretty sure it would violate at least part of my parole clause.

So, for now, suffice it to say that she looked older than she was, I didn't know that a dog that small could bite that hard, what goes up doesn't always come back down and next time I most certainly will use the proper title, your highness.

Over and out -

Evil Twin Biff

(I'll be in the office on Tuesday)

7:01 AM  

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