Dive right in
Okay, here's one for ya . . .
Have you ever noticed that outside of Michael Jackson and that dude called "the gimp" on Pulp Fiction, there is nothing quite as creepy or unsettling as an empty swimming pool? With the current gesture my hand is locked in, I simply don't have enough fingers to count the number of times that I've seen the same darkened gym and eerily empty swimming pool as the setting for yet another thrillingly climactic if somehow not convincingly acted ending of a Friday the 13th movie.
"Hey 73% naked lady with absolutely no reason whatsoever to be walking around a deserted warehouse that neighbors the underfunded and corrupt mental institute at night . . . what the hey are you thinking? If I was you, I would consider running away immediately. Oops! Too late."
Now, don't get me wrong. I love a good scary movie just like the next guy. There's nothing quite like waiting in line to sit in the dark with a bunch of other questionable-at-best suspects, all of which knowingly signed up to be seperated from their money and subsequently frightened out of their skin right along with you. Sounds like a hoot. The only problem is that while you and the other exceptions to the rule are staring at the screen through your slightly parted and raisenette-sticky fingers, the people we should all truly be afraid of are already hard at work concocting the plot for Friday the 13th (part 29) "Freddy Frees Willy . . . Again!" I don't remember getting my invitation to that particular meeting of the Hollywood branch of Mensa.
They say that the water in the fountain of youth doesn't even taste all that great. I think I'll just have another Coke, thank you. Pass the popcorn and shut up. The credits are already starting to roll.
On a lighter note - I am making an official plea to the reading public out there to leave some freakin' comments. Please. I am pretty sure that exactly 3 people are reading this crapola each day . . . and actually taking the time to comment. One is my Mom (I love you Mom), the other is my Sister-In-Law (one of the coolest people I know) and I am pretty sure that the 3rd is some sort of deranged porn-lord. Now, as much as I want to support the 1st amendment, I am not overwhelmingly encouraged by these numbers. Frankly, it is eerily similar to the crowd that would occasionally show up to watch my swim meets back in High School.
Please chime in if ya feel the spirit movin' ya . . .
Ben O.
BTW - I hope I didn't just inadvertently alienate the two fans I actually care about out of the reading trifecta. Hang in there people.
Have you ever noticed that outside of Michael Jackson and that dude called "the gimp" on Pulp Fiction, there is nothing quite as creepy or unsettling as an empty swimming pool? With the current gesture my hand is locked in, I simply don't have enough fingers to count the number of times that I've seen the same darkened gym and eerily empty swimming pool as the setting for yet another thrillingly climactic if somehow not convincingly acted ending of a Friday the 13th movie.
"Hey 73% naked lady with absolutely no reason whatsoever to be walking around a deserted warehouse that neighbors the underfunded and corrupt mental institute at night . . . what the hey are you thinking? If I was you, I would consider running away immediately. Oops! Too late."
Now, don't get me wrong. I love a good scary movie just like the next guy. There's nothing quite like waiting in line to sit in the dark with a bunch of other questionable-at-best suspects, all of which knowingly signed up to be seperated from their money and subsequently frightened out of their skin right along with you. Sounds like a hoot. The only problem is that while you and the other exceptions to the rule are staring at the screen through your slightly parted and raisenette-sticky fingers, the people we should all truly be afraid of are already hard at work concocting the plot for Friday the 13th (part 29) "Freddy Frees Willy . . . Again!" I don't remember getting my invitation to that particular meeting of the Hollywood branch of Mensa.
They say that the water in the fountain of youth doesn't even taste all that great. I think I'll just have another Coke, thank you. Pass the popcorn and shut up. The credits are already starting to roll.
On a lighter note - I am making an official plea to the reading public out there to leave some freakin' comments. Please. I am pretty sure that exactly 3 people are reading this crapola each day . . . and actually taking the time to comment. One is my Mom (I love you Mom), the other is my Sister-In-Law (one of the coolest people I know) and I am pretty sure that the 3rd is some sort of deranged porn-lord. Now, as much as I want to support the 1st amendment, I am not overwhelmingly encouraged by these numbers. Frankly, it is eerily similar to the crowd that would occasionally show up to watch my swim meets back in High School.
Please chime in if ya feel the spirit movin' ya . . .
Ben O.
BTW - I hope I didn't just inadvertently alienate the two fans I actually care about out of the reading trifecta. Hang in there people.
posted by Ben O. | 9:09 PM
7 Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
This is a fantastic blog. Keep it up.
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I actually read your latest contribution to the blogging world each time I tune in to email news. Just don't get too far out there for me, or my MOM's mentality won't be able to keep up. P.S. Just how bad does it have to be to be removed by the blog administrator??? (re: 12:10 comment)
Glad to see I'm not the only one getting those crappy spam comments. I'll try to read here more often, and I promise I'm not a porn lord.
Thanks for stopping by my blog. I figured I would return the favor, especially since you were the only stranger on my blog who wasn't a spammer. :)
Also creepy are pools at night. Actually any body of water at night. Unless you live in Miami by Shaquille Oneill. He has it all light up for everybody.
Also, I am not a porn lord either.
Hey - don't worry. I was just toying around with all the powers they give the person who runs the blog. The 12:10 comment was just a spam so I decided to see what happened when I zapped it.
It looks so ominous now just sitting there - "Comment Deleted by blog administrator". I've been called alot of things, but Blog Administrator has got to be both the most ambiguously (sp?) important sounding and also the most frighteningly dorky.
There is never an empty pool to jump in when you need one.
Thanks for commenting all - Ben O.
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